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The Tommy Cooper Joke Book
You've heard of the lone ranger? I'm his brother hydrangea! The other night I dreamt I was eating a ten-pound marshmallow. When I woke up the pillow had gone! My wife just phoned me. She said, 'I've got water in the carburettor.' I said, 'Where's the car?' She said, 'In the river.' I said to the doctor, 'Doctor, I'm losing all sense of direction. What should I do?' He said, 'Get lost.' I've got a dog, you know. I have. He's a one-man dog. He only bites me. Tommy Cooper died on stage at Her Majesty's Theatre, London, twenty-five years ago in April 1984 and is still revered today as probably the greatest comedian of the second half of the 20th century. More than just a comedian, Tommy Cooper was a born entertainer. Working in a golden age of British comedy, Cooper stood - literally - head and shoulders above the crowd, and had a magical talent for humour that defied description. With a love of laughter stemming from a magic performance gone wrong when he was in his teens, Cooper enlisted in the army in 1939 and began to perfect his comic timing on his army colleagues in the Egyptian desert. The man with the fez was born.
Shattered Life (A Cooper Trace FBI Suspense Thriller—Book 2)
When a killer weaponizes hypnosis, FBI Agent Cooper Trace finds himself within a labyrinth of psychological warfare. But can he stay a step ahead as he battles new symptoms of his own disease? SHATTERED LIFE (A Cooper Trace FBI Suspense Thriller—Book 2) is the second novel in a new series by mystery and suspense author Ella Swift. The series begins with SHATTERED MIND (Book 1). The Cooper Trace series is a gripping and intense crime thriller saga, showcasing an intricate and troubled protagonist. With its non-stop action, suspenseful moments, unexpected turns, and fast-paced narrative, this series will have you hooked well into the night. Fans of Robert Dugoni, Mary Burton, and Rachel Caine are sure to fall in love. Future books in the series are also available!
Fledgling: Jason Steed
Tormented by his mother's death... Taken for granted by his father... Trained in deadly martial arts... Jason Steed is looking for a place to call home. He finds what he's looking for in the Sea Cadets—an elite group of British youngsters being groomed for lifelong service in the military. But when a routine training exercise goes awry, Jason finds himself in the middle of a secret mission. The future of the world hangs in the balance...and Jason might be the only one who can save it. "A coming of age heart wrenching story packed with laughs and fast paced action. Most readers who love action and spy fiction will devour this dynamic book in a single sitting or two, otherwise they'll be in extreme agony waiting to see what happens next."—Fictionreviewer.com
Tommy Cooper All In One Joke Book
My wife is a magician, yesterday she turned our car into a tree. A big white horse walks into a pub. The barman says, 'we have a drink named after you.' The horse says, 'what? Eric?' I said, 'waiter, what's that in my soup?' he said, 'I'd better call the boss, I can't tell one insect from another.' I'm reading a book called 'Sex Before 20'. Personally I don't like audiences. I said, 'it's serious, doctor, I've broken my arm in 20 places'. He said, 'well stop going to those places.' I call my car flattery. It gets me nowhere.
Operation Heartbreak
'The Man Who Never Was' is a "now it can be told" story of secret Operation Mincemeat. This was a carefully prepared ruse involving planted documents on a floating body which successfully misled the German commanders as to the Sicily invasion. Told by the British naval officer who originated the plot. In 1950 came Duff Cooper's poignant novel 'Operation Heartbreak', a romantic tale, one which the government--right up to PM Clement Attlee--attempted to suppress. Its publication prompted the intelligence services to pressurize the operation's mastermind, Ewen Montagu, into writing a factual account, 'The Man Who Never Was'. Spellmount is proud to present these two accounts, fictional and factual, of one of the greatest intelligence operations ever undertaken, with an introduction by Duff Cooper's son, John Julius Norwich.
The Chalet
**The Sunday Times Top 5 bestseller** Longlisted for the CWA New Blood Award Four friends. One luxury getaway. The perfect murder. ‘Pure adrenaline’ ERIN KELLY ‘An intense thriller’ HEAT ‘Agatha Christie meets the glamour of après-ski’ SUNDAY TIMES
Shattered Dream (A Cooper Trace FBI Suspense Thriller—Book 4)
When pharmaceutical executives are found dead from their own drugs, it falls to FBI Agent Cooper Trace to untangle the mystery. But with his own mind and body betraying him, can he uncover the murderer in time? SHATTERED DREAM (A Cooper Trace FBI Suspense Thriller—Book 4) is the fourth novel in a new series by mystery and suspense author Ella Swift. The series begins with SHATTERED MIND (Book 1). The Cooper Trace series is a gripping and intense crime thriller saga, showcasing an intricate and troubled protagonist. With its non-stop action, suspenseful moments, unexpected turns, and fast-paced narrative, this series will have you hooked well into the night. Fans of Robert Dugoni, Mary Burton, and Rachel Caine are sure to fall in love. Future books in the series are also available!
Book Of Souls
Book of Souls picks up the action a year after the conclusion of the international sensation Library of the Dead. Will Piper’s life has been forever changed by the astonishing secret he discovered hidden at the government’s clandestine installation deep under the Nevada desert. His uneasy retirement from the FBI is interrupted when a long-missing book surfaces at an auction house in London. A group of ex-Area 51 employees recruits Will to assist them in obtaining the book and in helping them solve a mystery that will affect the fate of all mankind. As government operatives try to stop him, Will discovers the ancient missing volume has had a profound effect on history. Remarkably, a newly found puzzle sonnet by a young William Shakespeare seems to have been inspired by the book. As Will peels back the onion to solve a series of clues hidden in the poem, he finds the book has influenced not only Shakespeare but also the religious philosophy of John Calvin, the father of predestination, and the prophesies of the seer Nostradamus. When the final clue yields the ultimate secret, Will is forced to confront a truth which humanity may not be prepared to accept.
Data Envelopment Analysis and Effective Performance Assessment
For any organization, analysis of performance and effectiveness through available data allows for informed decision making. Data envelopment analysis, or DEA, is a popular, effective method that can be used to measure productive efficiency in operations management assessment. Data Envelopment Analysis and Effective Performance Assessment addresses the myriad of practical uses and innovative developments of DEA. Emphasizing the importance of analyzing productivity by measuring inputs, goals, economic growth, and performance, this book covers a wide breadth of innovative knowledge. This book is essential reading for managers, business professionals, students of business and ICT, and computer engineers.
The Book Club
EVERYONE IS HIDING A SECRET. ONE OF THEM IS MURDER. 'I raced through it - edgy, tense' Harriet Tyce, author of Blood Orange 'I for one am terrified of the woman next door!' Louise Candlish, author of The Other Passenger 'Tightly plotted, edge-of-seat gripping' Sophie Hannah, author of Haven't They Grown 'Dark, twisty, claustrophobic' Jo Spain, author of The Confession _______________ The book club was her idea, of course. It was her way into our group. A chance to get close. I knew from the day she arrived that she couldn't be trusted. And I was right. Alice didn't come to the village for peace and quiet. She came for revenge. _______________ A deliciously addictive psychological thriller ab...
