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The Teenage Years
Winner of the 2012 Roald Dahl Funny Prize! Thirteen-year-old schoolboy, Dirk Lloyd, has a dark secret - in fact he is a dark secret. Dirk - according to his own account - is the earthly incarnation of a Dark Lord, supreme ruler of the Darklands and leader of great armies of orcs and warriors, intent on destruction and bloody devastation. Following a colossal final battle between the forces of good and evil, the Dark Lord was defeated and hurled by his arch-foe's spells into the Pit of Uttermost Despair. At the bottom of the Pit lies...a supermarket car park in the municipal town of Whiteshields, somewhere in modern day England. And when he is found, and tries to explain that he is the Dark L...
Eternal Detention
Dirk Lloyd, the Dark Lord trapped in the body of a weedy schoolboy, returns in another darkly hilarious adventure... Brilliantly funny and subversive, this is the Funny Prize-winning Jamie Thomson at his best. Fear me, o miserable worm! I, the Great Dirk, take up my pen once more to record the utter misery that is SCHOOL. My sworn enemy, Hasdruban the White, has infiltrated Whiteshields School and seeks vengeance on me. Naturally, I will triumph. But it is the Dirkest Hour indeed... BUY THIS BOOK OR SUFFER ONE OF THE FOLLOWING: -Being struck with a Blast of Ravening Flame -Banishment to the Slave Pits of Never Ending Toil -Torment by the Hewer of Limbs THE CHOICE IS YOURS. MWA HA HA!
Dark Lord
Evil Dark Lord tries to recover his dignity, his power, and his lands when an arch-foe transports him to a small town, into the body of a thirteen-year-old boy.
A Fiend in Need
Dirk Lloyd, the Dark Lord trapped in the body of a weedy schoolboy, returns in another darkly hilarious adventure... Brilliantly funny and subversive, this is the Funny Prize-winning Jamie Thomson at his best. Sooz, a 13 yr old girl from Surrey has become the Dark Mistress of Dirk's other worldly kingdom, the Darklands. Thanks to the Ring of Power given to her by Dirk, his minions recognise her as their ruler. Sooz immediately sets about redecorating Dirk's Dark Tower to the taste of a young girl. But Sooz has to face her toughest challenge when an army of fanatical paladins and orcs gather to march against her. Despite their centuries of hostility to each other, they prefer to form an alliance rather than accept Sooz's new regime. And what of Dirk? He continues on slaving away at school, plotting ways to rescue Sooz. Eventually he is able to advise her on life in the Darklands and Sooz is able to hold back the fanatical paladins.
The Teenage Years
13-year-old schoolboy, Dirk Lloyd, has a dark secret - in fact he is a dark secret. Dirk - according to his own account - is the earthly incarnation of a Dark Lord, supreme ruler of the Darklands and leader of great armies of orcs and warriors, intent on destruction and bloody devastation.
The Wild Woods
Arcadia. The garden of the gods of Olympus. Once they walked its sylvan paths, sipping ambrosia, drinking the wines of Dionysus, and filling the arboreal groves with their laughter. Satyrs and centaurs gambolled in the sunlit groves, sprites and dryads tended to the trees and flowers. Even mortals, those chosen of the gods, enjoyed the revels. Everywhere life blossomed with joyous abandon. But Pan plays his pipes no more, Artemis hunts not in the deep forests-green, dryads and nymphs dance no longer in dappled moonlit glades to the music of the spheres. Silence reigns over the weed-infested garden walkways. Ancient trees, long untended, clog the forest trails, roots rise up from the ground t...
The Houses of the Dead
The underworld was once ruled over by the death god Hades, but he sleeps in his immortal tomb, weakened by centuries of neglect. What is to be done with his realm now? Who will refurbish its sepulchral halls, sweep away the corpse dust that coat its tenebrous terraces, and revitalise the dead that once walked its cheerless cloisters? Who else but you? And what is to be found in the underworld? Bone chilling winds sweep across desolate plains, carrying the despairing moans of lost souls to every corner of the realm of the dead. Swamps fester in the pale nacreous glow that rises up from the decaying earth, tombs litter the landscape like broken teeth, shadows walk the land, muttering in the da...
Antlers of Water
'Luminous' The Times 'Beautiful’ Caught by the River Bringing together contemporary Scottish writing on nature and landscape, this inspiring collection takes us from walking to wild swimming, from red deer to pigeons and wasps, from remote islands to back gardens, through prose, poetry and photography. Edited and introduced by Kathleen Jamie, and with contributions from Amy Liptrot, Jim Crumley, Chitra Ramaswamy, Malachy Tallack, Amanda Thomson and many more, Antlers of Water urges us to renegotiate our relationship with the more-than-human world, in writing which is by turns celebratory, radical and political.
Standoff
Standoff is award-winning journalist Jamie Thompson's gripping account of a deadly night in Dallas, told through the eyes of those at the center of the events, who offer a nuanced look at race and policing in America On the evening of July 7, 2016, protesters gathered in cities across the nation after police shot two black men, Philando Castile and Alton Sterling. As officers patrolled a march in Dallas, a young man stepped out of an SUV wearing a bulletproof vest and carrying a high-powered rifle. He killed five officers and wounded eleven others. It fell to a small group of cops to corner the shooter inside a community college, where a fierce gun battle was followed by a stalemate. Crisis ...
Headmaster of Doom
Dirk Lloyd, the Dark Lord trapped in the boy of a weedy schoolboy, returns in a darkly hilarious adventure set in the most ghoulish school you'll encounter this side of the Darklands ... Fourth in the brilliant series that began with the Roald Dahl Funny Prize-winning DARK LORD: THE TEENAGE YEARS, also chosen as one of the Sunday Times's 100 Modern Children Classics. Perfect for fans of Philip Reeve and David Walliams.
