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Confessions of a Slightly Neurotic Hitwoman
Maggie Lee is not your average hitwoman. For one thing, she's never killed anyone. For another, after hitting her head in the car accident that killed her sister, her new best friend is a talking lizard—a picky eater, obsessed with Wheel of Fortune, that only Maggie can hear. Maggie, who can barely take care of herself, is desperate to help her injured and orphaned niece get the best medical care possible, so she reluctantly accepts a mobster's lucrative job offer: major cash to kill his monstrous son-in-law. Paired with Patrick Mulligan, a charming murder mentor (who happens to moonlight as a police detective), Maggie stumbles down her new career path, contending with self-doubt, three meddling aunts, a semi-psychic friend predicting her doom, and a day job she hates. Oh, and let's not forget about Paul Kowalski, the sexy beat cop who could throw her ass in jail if he finds out what she's up to. Training has never been so complicated! And, this time, Maggie has to get the job done. Because if she doesn't . . . she's the mob's next target.
The Hitwoman Goes to Prison
Family is everything. That’s the motto Maggie Lee lives by. She’s proven that she’ll do anything (even become an assassin…albeit an inept one, as God likes to remind her) to take care of those she loves. Even when they drive her crazy. But as Maggie attempts to reunite a young boy with his mother, her own family is in danger of falling apart. The human members are facing a heartbreaking loss, the animals are mutinying against one of their own, and a missing skull is causing trouble for everyone. Maggie may be able to save an innocent’s life, but can she save her family?
The Hitwoman in a Pickle
The klutzy contract killer must enlist the help of both her psychic friend, Armani, and her ever-growing collection of talking pets, as she desperately searches for not one, but two, missing relatives. At the same time she’s trying to keep the peace in her crazy family and complete an unwanted assignment from mob boss, Delveccio, which could end with her on ice. And oh yeah, she’s got a date with a certain hot manny. Maggie and friends follow a crazy and convoluted path to try to save the day, but will an unexpected enemy get the upper hand?
The Hitwoman’s Act of Contrition
Imagine a high-strung, comfort loving hitwoman at a rustic spiritual retreat. Things are finally looking up for Maggie Lee. Her almost-lover Patrick is taking steps (albeit deadly ones) to insure they’ll have a future together, her niece Katie is about to be released from the hospital, her sister Marlene has stopped turning tricks and started tossing pizzas, and Maggie has a chance to land a new (legal) job. If only God would stop hounding her to apologize to her mother, Maggie would be pretty close to content with her life. When Maggie agrees to take out a new target, using a spiritual retreat as her cover story, she ends up with a spoon (long story), an odd, selectively mute roommate, and a chance to save a life. As Maggie struggles to balance all the important people in her life and deliver on the deadly contract, she begins to believe that God may be right about the act of contrition he’s demanded…but will she live long enough to do it?
Upstairs at the White House
In this New York Times bestseller, the White House chief usher for nearly three decades offers a behind-the-scenes look at America’s first families. J. B. West, chief usher of the White House, directed the operations and maintenance of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue—and coordinated its daily life—at the request of the president and his family. He directed state functions; planned parties, weddings and funerals, gardens and playgrounds, and extensive renovations; and, with a large staff, supervised every activity in the presidential home. For twenty-eight years, first as assistant to the chief usher, then as chief usher, he witnessed national crises and triumphs, and interacted daily with six...
Further Confessions of a Slightly Neurotic Hitwoman
Take three wacky aunts, two talking animals, one nervous bride, and an upcoming hit, and you've got the follow-up to JB Lynn's wickedly funny Confessions of a Slightly Neurotic Hitwoman Knocking off a drug kingpin was the last thing on Maggie Lee's to-do list, but when a tragic accident leaves her beloved niece orphaned and in the hospital, Maggie will go to desperate lengths to land the money needed for her care. But the drug kingpin is the least of her worries. Maggie's aunts are driving her crazy, her best friend's turned into a bridezilla…and a knock on the head has given Maggie Dr. Dolittle abilities—she can talk to animals. Unfortunately, they talk back. It's just another day in the life of this neurotic hitwoman…
The Hitwoman and the Ninjas
Maggie Lee has had a lot of jobs, but her current employment may be the worst of the bunch. It's a real grind. Recruited to work as a barista, Maggie contends with demanding customers, quirky co-workers and an overbearing teenage boss all while trying to surreptitiously gather the intel Ms. Whitehat needs. She inadvertently overhears another plot (that's what happens when you're eavesdropping) and this one endangers someone she loves. Can Maggie master latte heart art, help Ms. Whitehat, and protect her loved one; or will her undercover job end up with someone being six feet under?
The Hitwoman's Dying Wish
Maggie Lee is just doing the right thing when she drives her boyfriend to the hospital so that he can donate part of his liver to a stranger, but things quickly go wrong. On her way home, Maggie witnesses a car crash and rushes to try to help the driver, but he is dying. He implores her to help him "make things right" by finding his "real" Last Will & Testament, but then passes before he can tell her exactly where it is hidden. Feeling obligated to fulfill the man's dying wish, she does her best to decipher cryptic clues and searches for the missing document. Soon she discovers that she's not the only one looking for it, and that's when things get dangerous.
The Hitwoman Gets Her Man
When her boyfriend mysteriously vanishes, Maggie Lee doesn’t know what to think. She wants to search for him, but her efforts are hampered by a friend needing her help and the fact that she’s supposed to be babysitting her nieces for the weekend. Little kids and sleuthing don’t exactly go hand-in-hand. Then Maggie receives an upsetting phone call that knocks her for a loop. Thankfully cooler heads prevail (namely that of a grammatically challenged Doberman pinscher – who woulda thunk it?!). Determined to figure out exactly what’s happened to her missing boyfriend, she sets off with an unexpected ally and some new friends to find him. Can Maggie get her man back? Or will they both fall victim to a rabbit-trapping, fire-setting psycho?
The Hitwoman and the Neurotic Witness
When her apartment building is blown to smithereens, bumbling hitwoman Maggie Lee is forced to move back into the Bed & Breakfast she grew up in. Living with her three meddling aunts is bad enough, but it just so happens that the B&B is also occupied by a U.S. Marshal, an FBI agent, her old friend Zeke who’s on a mysterious mission, and a woman who claims she can see dead people. These aren’t the kinds of roomies Maggie wants to spend time with, considering that in order to pay for her niece’s medical care she supplements her income by killing people. Maggie avoids arrest and deals with a crazier-than-usual home life while trying to track down exactly who is blowing up the holdings of various crime families. To make matters worse, she’s walking a precarious tightrope between keeping her mobster bosses happy and protecting her murder mentor (and almost lover) Patrick Mulligan. Aided by the warped predictions of her semi-psychic friend, her sarcastic, demanding, talking lizard and an always ravenous, dyslexic Doberman, Maggie juggles keeping secrets, unraveling riddles and protecting those she loves. Can she do it all? Or will she suffer yet another unspeakable loss?
