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This Is Your Captain Speaking
A PILOT, A JOURNALIST, AND A SEMEN TRAFFICKER WALK ONTO A PLANE . . . When flight AW2921 crashes into the Hudson River and all 162 passengers survive, it’s a Monday morning miracle. What the rapturous public doesn’t know: the whole thing was staged as a last-ditch attempt at resurrecting the Air Wanderlust stock price. Captain Hank Swagger piloted the miracle plane into the river. Disgraced TV news anchor Lucy Springer was “luckily” the only reporter on board, and the first to capture the story. Con man Normal Fulk recently faked his own death to escape the consequences of his barely legal career as a celebrity semen trafficker. Toting his last big score—the “John Lennon”—Normal has to leave it behind on the sinking plane or risk being identified and arrested. In the aftermath of the crash and the chaotic week that follows, Lucy, Normal, and Captain Swagger are all about to discover what it means to be at the center of a miracle that is anything but.
Therapy Mammals
Tom Pistilini has just discovered he's an unwitting investor in a macabre tourism company bringing wealthy European sightseers obsessed with America's murder culture to explore mass shooting sites. It's a business that will make him wealthy, although he might just despise it enough to ruin his neighbors, and himself, financially. Told from the first-person perspective of unreliable narrator Tom "Pisser" Pistilini, the Patrick Bateman of the private school community,Therapy Mammals is the story of the lengths one father will go to protect his children, his marriage, and his worthiness. Pisser's life is a mess. He recently emerged from a pharmaceutical blackout to find himself strangling the c...
May I Quote You on That?
A guide to English grammar and usage for the twenty-first century, pairing grammar rules with interesting and humorous quotations from American popular culture.
Magnificent Vibration
"Horatio Cotton, aka "Bob," has been looking for some combination of spiritual and carnal salvation his entire life. When he steals a self-help book called Magnificent Vibration: Discover Your True Purpose from a bookstore and calls the number scrawled inside the front cover, he discovers that he has a direct line to God, and that God likes to mess with him. Soon enough Bob finds a partner in Alice, a surprisingly sexy and good-humored nun, and they travel from America to Scotland and try to answer questions, such as Why are we here? What is love? Is there a Loch Ness monster? Does God send text messages? MAGNIFICENT VIBRATION is smart, savvy, rambunctious, and hilarious novel, about the biggest questions that one man - or mankind - has ever asked"--
A Dog's Purpose
The phenomenal New York Times Number One bestseller about the unbreakable bond between a dog and their human. Now a major film starring Dennis Quaid. This is the remarkable story of one endearing dog's search for his purpose over the course of several lives. More than just another charming dog story, A Dog's Purpose touches on the universal quest for an answer to life's most basic question: Why are we here? As a stray mutt reincarnated into a rambunctious golden-haired puppy curious about his new life, Bailey discovers the joys of being a good dog with eight-year-old Ethan. Yet, his adventure doesn’t end there. Reborn into another puppyhood, will Bailey finally uncover his purpose? With a ...
