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Very Bad Poetry
Writing very bad poetry requires talent. It helps to have a wooden ear for words, a penchant for sinking into a mire of sentimentality, and an enviable confidence that allows one to write despite absolutely appalling incompetence. The 131 poems collected in this first-of-its-kind anthology are so glaringly awful that they embody a kind of genius. From Fred Emerson Brooks' "The Stuttering Lover" to Matthew Green's "The Spleen" to Georgia Bailey Parrington's misguided "An Elegy to a Dissected Puppy", they mangle meter, run rampant over rhyme, and bludgeon us into insensibility with their grandiosity, anticlimax, and malapropism. Guaranteed to move even the most stoic reader to tears (of laughter), Very Bad Poetry is sure to become a favorite of the poetically inclined (and disinclined).
You're Saying It Wrong
For word nerds and grammar geeks, a witty guide to the most commonly mispronounced words, along with their correct pronunciations and pithy forays into their fascinating etymologies and histories of use and misuse. With wit and good humor, this handy little book not only saves us from sticky linguistic situations but also provides fascinating cocktail-party-ready anecdotes. Entries reveal how to pronounce boatswain like an old salt on the deck of a ship, trompe l'oeil like a bona fide art expert, and haricot vert like a foodie, while arming us with the knowledge of why certain words are correctly pronounced the "slangy" way (they came about before dictionaries), what stalks of grain have to do with pronunciation, and more. With bonus sidebars like "How to Sound like a Seasoned Traveler" and "How to Sound Cultured," readers will be able to speak about foreign foods and places, fashion, philosophy, and literature with authority.
"Dance First. Think Later"
Timeless in their wisdom, thought-provoking in their message, surprising in their truth and memorable in their originality, the right words can give direction, inspiration, and sometimes a tangible boost onto the right path. For example, Steve Jobs once read “Stay hungry Stay foolish” on the back cover of The Whole Earth Catalog, and those four words came to guide his life. Created by Kathryn and Ross Petras, connoisseurs of quotes, whose books and calendars have over 56 million copies in print, "Dance First. Think Later." is a collection of the greatest life wisdom from an unexpected group of speakers, doers, and thinkers. There are 618 rules to live by—funny, sly, declarative, though...
The 776 Stupidest Things Ever Said
A connoisseur's compendium of Freudian slips, spoonerisms, double-talk, and utter bosh from famous and infamous figures past and present -- a complete course in anti-eloquence by the foot-in-mouth champions of all time.
Awkword Moments
A compendium of 100 words and phrases smart people use--even if they only kinda sorta (secretly don't) know what they mean--with pithy definitions and fascinating etymologies to solidify their meanings. Your boss makes a joke about Schrodinger's cat--which is something you've heard of but you're a little vague about what exactly happened (or didn't happen) with that cat. Or you're reading a New Yorker article that explains that "Solecism slipped into solipsism into full-blown narcissistic project." An excellent point . . . if you're sure what "solecism" means . . . or, for that matter, "solipsism." Language gurus Ross Petras and Kathryn Petras to the rescue! In the breezy and entertaining ye...
Jane's Guide to Dicks (and Toms and Harrys)
Inside Jane's Guide to Dicks (and Toms and Harrys), best-selling humorists Ross and Kathyrn Petras offer tongue-in-cheek lessons to help your average Jane suss out all the Dicks (and Toms and Harrys) they encounter along the way to finding Mr. Right. Once upon a time, Jane didn't know Jack about Dick; however, after careful research, study, and observation, Jane is now an expert on boys, and she's ready to share all her special secrets to help good girls everywhere find their own Dicks (or Toms, or Harrys). Four-color art appears throughout, and each special secret offers suggestively irreverent and sassy quips such as: * Not all boys are created equal. Some of them have BIG machines. Some of them have SMALL machines. A big machine is usually BETTER! (But not TOO big!) * Just because he has balls doesn't mean he wants to shoot a basket in your--or any other girl's--hoop! * Boys who stare at your chest and forget you have a face are the REAL boobs!
B Is for Botox
Remember when A was for apple? Well, now (sigh) A is for aging. The A, B, Cs of adulthood differ ever so slightly from the popular grade school primers of the past inside Ross and Kathryn Petras's B Is for Botox: An Alphabet Book for the Middle-Aged. This hilarious board book has a fun, retro look and makes a unique gift for grown-ups who don't necessarily want to grow up. Dripping with sarcasm, each letter will remind you that while you still have your sense of humor, jokes about aging seem to ring a little truer than they used to! For example: A is for Antique. Arnold sees his favorite childhood toy, the Atomic Astro-Rocket, on Antiques Roadshow. It is officially an antique! "Hmm," thinks Arnold. "Does this mean that now that I'm middle-aged, I'm officially an antique?" Hmm. . . What do you think?
1, 2, Can't Reach My Shoe
The 1, 2, 3s of adulthood differ ever so slightly from the popular grade-school primers of yesteryear inside Ross and Kathryn Petras's 1, 2, Can't Reach My Shoe. This clever counting book for the middle-aged (which the United States Census Bureau defines as age 35 and above) is perfect for readers of a certain vintage who intend to grow old gracefully--and with a sense of humor. Featuring full-color, retro illustrations in a playful board book format, 1, 2, Can't Reach My Shoe makes an excellent, humorous gift for the more than 78.2 million baby boomers in the United States. Consider: * 3: When they were first going out in their twenties, Thaddeus and Theresa used to have sex THREE times eac...
"Don't Forget to Sing in the Lifeboats"
Uncommon times call for uncommon wisdom. It’s inspiring to hear from people who’ve graduated from the school of hard knocks, yet kept a sense of humor. People like Twain, Voltaire, Oscar Wilde. People who've said the thing so well that we all wish we'd said it. People who've been there, done that, and refuse to sugarcoat what they've learned. People who know, as Sherry Hochman puts it, that "Every day is a gift—even if it sucks." From Kathryn and Ross Petras, curators of craziness (and surprising smarts), comes a timely collection of reassuring reality: "Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?"—John Barrymore "October. This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks in. The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August, and February." —Mark Twain "I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much."—Mother Teresa "When one burns one's bridges, what a very nice fire it makes."—Dylan Thomas "If you think you have it tough, read history books."—Bill Maher And Voltaire: "Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats."
A History of the World Through Body Parts
A grab bag of historic spleens, chins, and more, this is your ultimate literary dissection of body parts throughout history! From famous craniums to prominent breasts, ancient spleens and bound feet, this book will bring history to life in a whole new way. With their inimitable wit and probing intelligence, authors Kathy and Ross Petras look at the role the human body has played throughout history as each individual part becomes a jumping-off point for a wider look at the times. In far-ranging, quirky-yet-interrelated stories, learn about Charles II of Spain's jaw and the repercussions of inbreeding, what Anne Boleyn's heart says about the Crusades and the trend of dispersed burials, and wha...
