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Clovenhoof
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Oddjobs
It's the end of the world as we know it, but someone still needs to do the paperwork. Incomprehensible horrors from beyond are going to devour our world but that's no excuse to get all emotional about it. Morag Murray works for the secret government organisation responsible for making sure the apocalypse goes as smoothly and as quietly as possible. In her first week on the job, Morag has to hunt down a man-eating starfish, solve a supernatural murder and, if she's got time, prevent her own inevitable death. The first book in a new comedy series by the creators of 'Clovenhoof', Oddjobs is a sideswipe at the world of work and a fantastical adventure featuring amphibian wannabe gangstas, mad old cat ladies, ancient gods, apocalyptic scrabble, fish porn, telepathic curry and, possibly, the end of the world before the weekend.
A Spell in the Country
Dee is a Good Witch but she wonders if she could be a better witch. She wonders if there's more to life than Disney movie marathons, eating a whole box of chocolates for dinner and brewing up potions in her bathtub. So when she's offered a chance to go on a personal development course in the English countryside, she packs her bags, says goodbye to the Shelter for Unloved Animals charity shop and sets a course for self-improvement. Caroline isn't just a Good Witch, she's a fricking awesome witch. She likes to find the easy path through life: what her good looks can't get for her, a few magic charms can. But she's bored of being a waitress and needs something different in her life. So when a o...
The Only Wizard in Town
A city under siege by a barbarian horde...A band of ruthless mercenaries...A trap-filled dungeon...A situation like this calls for the best wizard in town.What they've got is the ONLY wizard in town: Newport Pagnell, oral hygiene specialist.More used to soothing fevered gums and extracting rotten teeth, this dental spellcaster has to perform an operation like never before: extracting a fabled treasure from the jaws of certain doom. This time, he might have bitten off more than he can chew...
Hooflandia
When Jeremy Clovenhoof decides to set himself up as President for Life of his own breakaway country, he knows he'll need money, lots and lots of money. That might be a bit difficult, particularly since the Inland Revenue have just presented him with an enormous tax bill and Heaven and Hell have sent Joan of Arc and Rutspud of the Sixth Circle to bring him under control. But nothing can keep this devil down. He's got the business acumen and the spunk to make a fortune and found the independent nation state of Hooflandia. Come see the really big wall! Enjoy the nudist beach! Visit the combined log flume and waterboarding torture centre! The seventh book in the Clovenhoof series, Hooflandia, is a ridiculous romp, featuring ventriloquist dummies, cut-price funerals, sexy archbishops, robot cars, musical butt plugs, tax avoidance and a million angry nuns.
Paternus
Book 1 of the completed Paternus Trilogy Even myths have legends. Described as American Gods meets The Avengers and Supernatural meets The Lord of the Rings, Paternus combines myths from around the world in a modern story of action and intrigue that is "urban fantasy on the surface, but so much more at its core!" "Terrific! Paternus is intelligent, intricate, suspenseful, and epic." -Nicholas Eames, Gemmell Award winning author of Kings of the Wyld and Bloody Rose "Ashton's story is a crucible in which myths are melted and remade to thrilling effect." -M. R. (Mike) Carey, author of The Girl with All the Gifts and the Felix Castor series And not all legends are myth. When a local hospital is ...
The Gears of Madness
It is 1902. Victoria's steam-powered empire stretches from England to the stars. The Queen's Armoured Hussars patrol the aether. British airships rule the skies of Mars. Great British inventors build bridges across seas and connect the cities of the empire with vast subterranean tunnels. But Britain (and the world) are under threat from unspeakable horrors from beyond. Slumbering gods, diabolic occultists and terrifying monsters from Earth's past conspire to overthrow mankind usher in an age of terrors. Only Professor Erskine Sedgewick - the most insightful mind of the age -and his faithful companion Cadwallander can stop them. Fantastic steampunk derring-do and thrilling cosmic horror collide in this action-packed adventure."
Candy Canes and Buckets of Blood
Christmas is a time for families to come together.Guin Roberts can't think of anything worse than visiting a Christmas market with her new family. Guin is perfectly happy with own company and doesn't want that disrupted by her wisecracking stepbrother and his earnest mum.Their Christmas celebrations are invaded by a sleigh full of murderous elves. And it doesn't matter if they've been naughty or nice - these elves are out for blood.Can the family band together to survive the night? Or will Santa's little helpers make mincemeat of them all?
Oddjobs 4
Everyone is out of time...Morag Murray is about to give birth to the Venislarn anti-Christ and her baby is eager to be born. With only the possessed doll Steve the Destroyer to help her through her labours, she knows that when this child is born, the earth will face its final day.Nina Seth is literally out of her own time. An evil sorceress is causing havoc in eighteenth century England. With only Steve the Destroyer to help her prevent the premature end of the world, this clueless time-traveller has to save the past and find a way back to the present.Vivian Grey is in hell - literally - and caught in a political conflict between warring Venislarn gods. With many human lives at stake, Vivian and Steve the Destroyer must join forces if they're both to survive. Rod Campbell knows that the world will end at midnight if he doesn't rescue Morag from the secret organisation that wants to use her as a pawn in its war against the Venislarn. The clock is ticking down to Judgement Day and he hasn't got a clue where she is.One day and one night to save the world (again!) and no one's getting paid overtime...
The Storm Protocol
Imagine creating the perfect drug; all of the highs with none of the lows. No side effects, no painful physical withdrawal, no drawbacks. Or are there.... Deep in the Louisiana bayou, Thomas Eugene O'Neill a.k.a The Street, an Irish immigrant mob enforcer, waits patiently with his gun amidst the sweltering heat of a southern storm. His employers, Italian American drug lords Guido and Ernesto Mancini, have a guaranteed formula to create the perfect narcotic and Thomas knows too much. But he is not alone. Detective Charles Roussel, ex hot-shot city lawyer turned small town Louisiana lawman, is investigating a strange case at the old plantation house he used to call home. He gets drawn inexorab...
