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Clovenhoof
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Oddjobs
It's the end of the world as we know it, but someone still needs to do the paperwork. Incomprehensible horrors from beyond are going to devour our world but that's no excuse to get all emotional about it. Morag Murray works for the secret government organisation responsible for making sure the apocalypse goes as smoothly and as quietly as possible. In her first week on the job, Morag has to hunt down a man-eating starfish, solve a supernatural murder and, if she's got time, prevent her own inevitable death. The first book in a new comedy series by the creators of 'Clovenhoof', Oddjobs is a sideswipe at the world of work and a fantastical adventure featuring amphibian wannabe gangstas, mad old cat ladies, ancient gods, apocalyptic scrabble, fish porn, telepathic curry and, possibly, the end of the world before the weekend.
A Spell in the Country
Dee is a Good Witch but she wonders if she could be a better witch. She wonders if there's more to life than Disney movie marathons, eating a whole box of chocolates for dinner and brewing up potions in her bathtub. So when she's offered a chance to go on a personal development course in the English countryside, she packs her bags, says goodbye to the Shelter for Unloved Animals charity shop and sets a course for self-improvement. Caroline isn't just a Good Witch, she's a fricking awesome witch. She likes to find the easy path through life: what her good looks can't get for her, a few magic charms can. But she's bored of being a waitress and needs something different in her life. So when a o...
Hooflandia
When Jeremy Clovenhoof decides to set himself up as President for Life of his own breakaway country, he knows he'll need money, lots and lots of money. That might be a bit difficult, particularly since the Inland Revenue have just presented him with an enormous tax bill and Heaven and Hell have sent Joan of Arc and Rutspud of the Sixth Circle to bring him under control. But nothing can keep this devil down. He's got the business acumen and the spunk to make a fortune and found the independent nation state of Hooflandia. Come see the really big wall! Enjoy the nudist beach! Visit the combined log flume and waterboarding torture centre! The seventh book in the Clovenhoof series, Hooflandia, is a ridiculous romp, featuring ventriloquist dummies, cut-price funerals, sexy archbishops, robot cars, musical butt plugs, tax avoidance and a million angry nuns.
The Only Wizard in Town
A city under siege by a barbarian horde...A band of ruthless mercenaries...A trap-filled dungeon...A situation like this calls for the best wizard in town.What they've got is the ONLY wizard in town: Newport Pagnell, oral hygiene specialist.More used to soothing fevered gums and extracting rotten teeth, this dental spellcaster has to perform an operation like never before: extracting a fabled treasure from the jaws of certain doom. This time, he might have bitten off more than he can chew...
Paternus
Book 1 of the completed Paternus Trilogy Even myths have legends. Described as American Gods meets The Avengers and Supernatural meets The Lord of the Rings, Paternus combines myths from around the world in a modern story of action and intrigue that is "urban fantasy on the surface, but so much more at its core!" "Terrific! Paternus is intelligent, intricate, suspenseful, and epic." -Nicholas Eames, Gemmell Award winning author of Kings of the Wyld and Bloody Rose "Ashton's story is a crucible in which myths are melted and remade to thrilling effect." -M. R. (Mike) Carey, author of The Girl with All the Gifts and the Felix Castor series And not all legends are myth. When a local hospital is ...
Banana Rose
From the author of Writing Down the Bones: This novel about a Brooklyn-born woman’s self-reinvention in Taos, New Mexico, “explodes with wit and vision” (Indianapolis News). Nell Schwartz is a Brooklyn-born Jewish girl who reinvents herself in the communes of Taos, renaming herself Banana Rose—because she’s “bananas.” But Nell struggles with her inner fears and desires, the demands of the artist’s life, and the irrepressible call of home. While living in New Mexico, Nell falls in love with and marries a free-spirited horn player named Gauguin. They travel east to experience city life, and then to the Midwest to be closer to family, but their tempestuous relationship cools as Nell’s free-spiritedness and Jewishness seem under constant scrutiny. For solace, Nell turns to her friend Anna, a writer who teaches Nell what it means to be an artist. Nell is slowly transformed by love, loss, and art, gaining a new sense of self. This ebook features an illustrated biography of Natalie Goldberg, including rare photos and never-before-seen documents from the author’s personal collection.
The Storm Protocol
Imagine creating the perfect drug; all of the highs with none of the lows. No side effects, no painful physical withdrawal, no drawbacks. Or are there.... Deep in the Louisiana bayou, Thomas Eugene O'Neill a.k.a The Street, an Irish immigrant mob enforcer, waits patiently with his gun amidst the sweltering heat of a southern storm. His employers, Italian American drug lords Guido and Ernesto Mancini, have a guaranteed formula to create the perfect narcotic and Thomas knows too much. But he is not alone. Detective Charles Roussel, ex hot-shot city lawyer turned small town Louisiana lawman, is investigating a strange case at the old plantation house he used to call home. He gets drawn inexorab...
Like Brothers
The multitalented writers, directors, producers, and actors (as seen on The League, Transparent, and The Mindy Project) share the secrets of their lifelong partnership in this unique memoir. “A book that anyone will love . . . You can enjoy it even if you have no idea who the Duplass brothers are.”—Janet Maslin, The New York Times Whether producing, writing, directing, or acting, the Duplass Brothers have made their mark in the world of independent film and television on the strength of their quirky and empathetic approach to storytelling. Now, for the first time, Mark and Jay take readers on a tour of their lifelong partnership in this unique memoir told in essays that share the secre...
Candy Canes and Buckets of Blood
Christmas is a time for families to come together.Guin Roberts can't think of anything worse than visiting a Christmas market with her new family. Guin is perfectly happy with own company and doesn't want that disrupted by her wisecracking stepbrother and his earnest mum.Their Christmas celebrations are invaded by a sleigh full of murderous elves. And it doesn't matter if they've been naughty or nice - these elves are out for blood.Can the family band together to survive the night? Or will Santa's little helpers make mincemeat of them all?
