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Normal Sheeple
'FUNNIEST YET!' IRISH EXAMINER A love affair born in rural Ireland! Two mismatched lovers, locked in a relationship that will change both of them . . . forever! Ross O'Carroll-Kelly was brought up to believe that Gaelic games were invented for people too stupid to understand the laws of rugby. Little did he know that one day he would become a legend of Kerry football. But then, his life has taken a lot of unexpected twists and turns. His father is the Taoiseach of the country. His wife is an actual Government Minister. And his suddenly teenage daughter is heading for the Gaeltacht - and her very first rugby boyfriend. And then there's Marianne . . . Of course, Ross was too busy becoming a Gaelic football star to realise that his family - like the entire country - was being pushed towards a cliff edge. And he was the only man capable of saving Ireland's democracy. Which is just like, 'Fooooooock!' __________________________ 'I hope this series runs for decades' BELFAST TELEGRAPH 'Ross is a national institution' IRISH TIMES
What's Your Story? The Workbook
"What's Your Story?: The Workbook" serves as the workbook companion guide to "What's Your Story?," which has emerged to become the definitive guide on how to write your personal story, be it a memoir, biography, family history or other personal non-fiction account. This workbook is also used in Ross Kelly's workshop series, also entitled "What's Your Story?," which guides its participants through the 'horizontal' method of writing personal stories, which reduces the time required to write your story from months or years, to weeks.
Downturn Abbey
Since inheriting a pile in Killiney, Ross O'Carroll-Kelly - schools rugby legend, lover of the ladeez and award-winning author - can add a new string to his not inconsiderable (you know what I mean) bow - lord of the manor. Downturn Abbey is the story of how he tackles his new responsibilities. Or not. The century is not yet a teenager, yet everything is shrouded in gloom. People are tightening their belts, rationing and making do. Across Europe, there is uncertainty, with the possibility of, like, serious conflict hanging in the air. Yet, amidst the splendour of Honalee - a mock-something-or-other mansion that Ross and Sorcha recently inherited - life goes on. The world is changing quickly ...
Camino Royale
THE NUMBER 1 BESTSELLER - AND THE PERFECT GIFT FOR THE ROSS O'CARROLL-KELLY FAN IN YOUR LIFE! 'Ross is a national institution' - Irish Times 'The social satire is as sharp as it gets ... compelling and carefully crafted' Irish Examiner 'One of the funniest writers in the country' - RTÉ Radio One * * * 'The name's O'Carroll-Kelly. Ross O'Carroll-Kelly.' As the great James Bond said, 'History isn't kind to men who play God.' How right the dude ended up being. My secret double-life was finally catching up with me. Sorcha wanted a divorce. I was facing jail time for taking my orse out in a pub in Cork. And there was a very good chance that my sister-in-law's surrogate baby was actually mine? On...
Ross O'Carroll-Kelly: The Teenage Dirtbag Years
So there I was, roysh, class legend, schools rugby legend, basically all-round legend, when someone decides you can't, like, sit the Leaving Cert four times. Well that put a focking spanner in the works. But joining the goys at college wasn't the mare I thought it would be, basically for, like, three major reasons: beer, women and more women. And for once I agree with Fionn about the, like, education possibilities. I mean, where else can you learn about Judge Judy, laminating fake IDs and, like, how to order a Ken and snog a girl at the same time? I may be beautiful, roysh, but I'm not stupid and this much I totally know: college focking rocks.
Ross O'Carroll-Kelly, The Miseducation Years
So there I was, roysh, putting the 'in' in 'in crowd', hanging out, pick of the babes, bills from the old pair to fund the lifestyle I, like, totally deserve. But being a schools rugby legend has its downsides, roysh, like all the total knobs wanting to chill in your, like, reflected glory, and the bunny-boilers who decide they want to be with me and won't take, like, no for an answer. And we're talking totally here. Basically, it may look like a champagne bath with, like, Nell McAndrew, with, like, no clothes and everything, but I can tell you, roysh, those focking bubbles can burst. And when they do ... OH MY GOD! Ross O'Carroll-Kelly is all meat and no preservatives, roysh, at least, that's what it says in the can in, like, one particular south Dublin girls' school, which shall remain nameless, roysh, basically to protect the names of the guilty. You know who you are.
Ross O'Carroll-Kelly, PS, I scored the bridesmaids
So there I was, roysh, twenty-three years of age, still, like, gorgeous and rich, living off my legend as a schools rugby player, scoring the birds, being the man, when all of a sudden, roysh, life becomes a total mare. I don't have a Betty Blue what's wrong, but I can't eat, can't sleep, I don't even want to do the old beast with two backs, which means a major problem, and we're talking big time here. Normally my head is so full of, like thoughts, but now I'm down to just one: Sorcha, I'm playing it Kool and the Gang, but this is basically scary. I mean, I'm Ross O'Carroll-Kelly, for fock's sake, I don't do love.
Ross O'Carroll-Kelly: The Orange Mocha-Chip Frappuccino Years
So there I was, roysh, enjoying college life, college birds and, like, a major amount of socialising. Then, roysh, the old pair decide to mess everything up for me. And we're talking totally here. Don't ask me what they were thinking. I hadn't, like, changed or treated them any differently, but the next thing I know, roysh, I'm out on the streets. Another focking day in paradise for me! If it hadn't been for Oisinn's apartment in Killiney, the old man paying for my Golf GTI, JP's old man's job offer and all the goys wanting to buy me drink, it would have been, like, a complete mare. Totally. But naturally, roysh, you can never be sure what life plans to do to you next. At least, it came as a complete focking surprise to me ... The life and times of Ross O'Carroll-Kelly, the cult hero with a weekly column in The Sunday Tribune.
We Need To Talk About Ross
Sportsman. Lover. Bon viviant. Cad. Ross O�Carroll-Kelly is many things to many people. But ten years after he lifted the Leinster Schools Senior Cup, Ireland�s most beloved rogue remains one of its most misunderstood figures. His accomplishments on the rugby field � and in the bedroom � remain the stuff of legend, but the truth about him remains hidden by the accretion of myth. Now, for the first time, the lid is lifted on the enigma that is South Dublin�s most eligible married man. In more than a hundred interviews with his family and friends - those who�ve loved him, hated him and slept with him - the first ever composite portrait of the Celtic Tiger�s most famous cub emerges. From the mother who didn�t want him to the father who wanted him too much, from the friends who shared his misadventures to the women who shared his bed � or, failing that, a back alley or bus shelter � this searingly honest biography fills in all the blanks in the life of the self-styled Cock of Foxrock.
