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Going Off Alarming
The dazzlingly funny second volume of Danny Baker's memoirs: the television years. Since my first book was published I have had countless friends and family members get in touch to say how come I hadn't included this story or that tale. Was I ashamed of being shot twice, once up the arse, in Jamaica Road? How long should a man live with such a secret? If by retrospectively dropping my trousers every few pages I can reveal a fuller picture of myself during these years, then so be it. Besides. Being shot up the arse. In front of your mates. What else did I forget?
Going on the Turn
In this book my father dies. I almost die.*** My showbiz career winds down. And yet everyone keeps telling me it's the funniest book I've ever written. If I'd known that's what the public wanted, I'd have cancelled Pets Win Prizes and just got sick sooner. Along the way this time we encounter, among others, David Bowie, Kanye West (I think), John Cleese, Peter O'Toole, and have several adventures in the Fourth Dimension. Oh, and I can reveal the Man With The Foulest Mouth In All Show Business. Plus assorted high-kicking hoopla and a whole lot of rather stark stuff about what it's like to be told you could be On The Way Out. *** (SPOILER ALERT: I don't actually die.)
Going to Sea in a Sieve
The first hilarious volume of comedy writer, journalist, radio DJ and screenwriter Danny Baker's memoir, and now the inspiration for the major BBC series CRADLE TO GRAVE, starring Peter Kay. 'And what was our life like in this noisy, dangerous and polluted industrial pock-mark wedged into one of the capital's toughest neighbourhoods? It was, of course, utterly magnificent and I'd give anything to climb inside it again for just one day.' In the first volume of his memoirs, Danny Baker brings his early years to life as only he knows how. With his trademark humour and eye for a killer anecdote, he takes us all the way from the council house in south-east London that he shared with his mum Betty and dad 'Spud' (played by Peter Kay) to the music-biz excesses of Los Angeles, where he famously interviewed Michael Jackson for the NME. Laugh-out-loud funny, it is also an affectionate but unsentimental hymn to a bygone era.
Lucie Goose
A magnificently funny first picture book by Danny Baker, the popular comedy writer, journalist, radio DJ and screenwriter. Illustrated by rising star Pippa Curnick. Lucie Goose lives all alone in a house at the edge of the woods. She has never met or spoken to another animal of any sort until... a wolf, bear and lion turn up on her doorstep and go Rraaaarrrrrr! She should start screaming. She should run away. But Lucie Goose isn't very good at being scared. What will she do? Introducing a wonderfully charming and funny new picture book from two remarkable talents.
Going to Sea in a Sieve
The first hilarious volume of comedy writer, journalist, radio DJ and screenwriter Danny Baker's memoir, and now the inspiration for the major BBC series CRADLE TO GRAVE, starring Peter Kay. 'And what was our life like in this noisy, dangerous and polluted industrial pock-mark wedged into one of the capital's toughest neighbourhoods? It was, of course, utterly magnificent and I'd give anything to climb inside it again for just one day.' In the first volume of his memoirs, Danny Baker brings his early years to life as only he knows how. With his trademark humour and eye for a killer anecdote, he takes us all the way from the council house in south-east London that he shared with his mum Betty and dad 'Spud' (played by Peter Kay) to the music-biz excesses of Los Angeles, where he famously interviewed Michael Jackson for the NME. Laugh-out-loud funny, it is also an affectionate but unsentimental hymn to a bygone era.
Behind Closed Doors
***Includes a new foreword by Gary Lineker about football in lockdown*** Shortlisted for The Telegraph Sports Book Awards 'Lineker is nearly as good a presenter as I was a footballer' DIEGO MARADONA 'Hilarious, almost as funny as me' ALAN SHEARER 'This is Lineker unleashed. As a non-football nut I didn't expect to enjoy it, but between laddish anecdotes are passages of sudden tenderness. . . Lineker opens up, dislodging memories and reflections, not just about football but his whole life.' THE TIMES _______________________________________________________________ 'Football is a simple game. 22 players chase a ball for 90 minutes, and at the end the Germans always win.' This book is inspired b...
Classic Football Debates Settled Once and for All
At long last, the award-winning Baker & Kelly bring you the most entertaining, radical, and unreliable football book ever published. It is full of facts, near facts, and "facts." The Two Dannys intend to argue the toss, spill the beans, and heave the talcum about everything and anything from the game's biggest questions to some more middling posers right down to stuff they have frankly invented themselves. Questions include: Which clubs have the handsomest fans? Who is the greatest player of all time? and Have foreign players helped or hindered the English game? A cornucopia of footballing fun and well-crafted wisdom that is certain to sell like beer-flavored chips. Who wouldn't want this book on their roster, except maybe Dick Rowe? Baker & Kelly: Sometimes right, sometimes wrong--but always certain.
My Brother Danny
Danny and Colleen Malone, the fifth generation of the Malone family, live on an 880-acre farm and apple orchard near Rockford, Michigan. Told by Colleen, My Brother Danny follows the siblings and the rest of the Malone family for more than two decades, recounting their triumphs and tragedies. In October 1980, Danny is a high school senior. He is an exceptional athlete, hoping to play for a professional football team after he graduates from college. Danny has the talent and ability to make this a real possibility, but his dream ends after he suffers a serious injury playing football for Michigan State University. His life becomes an intriguing, yet tumultuous adventure after he graduates from MSU and marries the daughter of a wealthy owner of a very successful chain of stores that sell hardware, lumber, and building materials. Colleen, who is just a few days shy of her sixteenth birthday when the story begins, becomes a veterinarian and also enjoys great success as an entrepreneur. My Brother Danny explores the unbreakable bond of love between a brother and sister, and allows you to share in the joys, sorrows, and achievements of the Malone family.
Danny Baker Record Breaker: The World's Biggest Bogey
Like many young boys, Danny dreams of making it into the record books. Eternally optimistic, he writes to Mr Bibby, Keeper of the Records, with hilarious accounts of his yucky endeavours. In this book Danny Baker will attempt to break the following records. Drumroll, please . . . Heaviest ball of snot! (DB attempt: 1.4 grams) Most nits on a single human head! (DB attempt: 109) Smelliest feet! (DB attempt: 205 children and 5 teachers rendered unconscious within 10 seconds)
The World's Awesomest Air-Barf: Danny Baker Record Breaker 2
Like many young boys, Danny dreams of making it into the record books. Eternally optimistic, he writes to Mr Bibby, Keeper of the Records, with hilarious accounts of his yucky endeavours. In this book, Danny is going on holiday! He will attempt to break the following records. Drumroll, please ... Sickbags filled in a single flight! (DB attempt: 13) Wriggliest bath! (DB attempt: 9,183 worms) Freckliest face! (DB attempt: 1,246 freckles - before sabotage by Mum and the Factor 5,000,000 suncream)
