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Hyacinth and the Secrets Beneath
The hilarious first book in a middle-grade fantasy trilogy about the magical rivers that run through the sewers of London and shape history in ways you'd never learn in school. Magic is real. History is a big, fat lie. Hyacinth Hayward’s mother has just been kidnapped by lumpy gray monsters in post office uniforms. But why? Well, before Hyacinth moved from Illinois to London, she read up on the city’s history. Too bad for her. Because the books are wrong. The truth is, London was built on magical rivers, and all the major events in its past have been about people trying to control the magic. And her family is somehow tied to it. In the chase to get her mom back, Hyacinth encounters a giant intelligent pig in a bathing suit, a boy with amnesia, an adorable tosher (whatever that is), a sarcastic old lady, and a very sketchy unicorn. Somehow Hyacinth has to figure out who to trust, so she can save her mom and, oh yeah, not cause a second Great Fire of London.
How to Remember Everything
HOW TO REMEMBER EVERYTHING is the ultimate guide to unlocking the power of your brain! Kids will learn how to ace history tests by memorizing dates, feel confident about remembering people's names, win card games by mastering entire decks, and hang on to happy memories for a lifetime. This invaluable memory guide for children is full of recall-building techniques, fun challenges, and hilarious art.
How Not to Kill Your Baby
"This laugh-out-loud hilarious book is mandatory reading for parents, and should be taught in schools as the "cautionary tale" portion of Sex Ed. Run don't walk to buy it, and if you're a baby with lethal parents, crawl don't roll." --Rob Kutner (writer, The Daily Show, Conan, The Future According To Me) "Unlike babies themselves, copies of Jacob Sager Weinstein's book can be bought and sold on the open market. Buy two and bring joy and laughter to the lives of a copy-less couple." --Jose Arroyo (writer, Conan) "The "s-a-g-e" in Jacob's middle moniker indicates exactly that. He is a whimsically wise and hysterically funny fellow whom any child (or book buying adult) would be wise to listen t...
Hyacinth and the Stone Thief
The hilarious second book in a middle-grade fantasy trilogy about the magical rivers that run through the sewers of London and shape history in ways you'd never learn in school. Magic is real. History is about to be squashed. Now that Hyacinth Hayward knows about the enchanted rivers under London, she's determined to find out more. Unfortunately, London isn't cooperating. Instead, Hyacinth stumbles on a new adversary--a girl who is trying to steal all the ancient stones that keep the city in balance. A girl with glowing, magical fingers, whose entire body is tattooed with spells. A girl called Minnie Tickle. (What? Were you expecting something more . . . fearsome?) To stop her, Hyacinth will need help from stone itself--specifically, a giant talking lion statue and his talking statue friends. Can this enthusiastic but scattered company defeat Minnie before London sinks like a stone?
The Government Manual for New Pirates
There be no callin' 'dibs' in piratin'. Booty be divided among the crew, from the lowest deckswabber to the highest masthand. So says the Pirate Code." --Calico Jack Rackham, king of the pirates * Enjoy a witty mock-official handbook for potential pirates and plunderers. Matthew David Brozik and Jacob Sager Weinstein continue to spoof those uber-utilitarian survival and how-to guides by offering this pithy pirating primer for budding buccaneers. This treasure trove of Pirate Code imparts wisdom on eye patches and tricorner hats, talking the talk, walking the walk (down the plank, that is), appropriate ship names, dueling, avoiding cursed treasure, and much more.
The Government Manual for New Wizards
The comedic duo behind The Government Manual for New Superheroes is back, and this time they've brought their magic wands and enchanted artifacts. The Government Manual for New Wizards is a hilarious, mock-official handbook for wannabe witches and warlocks who need advice on recognizing the onset of wizardolescence, understanding the laws of magic (and the magic of laws), choosing (or being chosen by) the right magical items and enchanted artifacts, dealing with the dead (grateful and otherwise), successfully hosting magical exhibitions, and the proper care and feeding of magical creatures. Wands, charms, cloaks of invisibility, shoes of stealth (or sneakers), and other otherworldly accoutre...
The Last Time I Lied
THE INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER From the author of Survive the Night and Final Girls comes a tense and twisty thriller about a summer camp that’s impossible to forget—no matter how hard you try. Two Truths and a Lie. Vivian, Natalie, Allison, and Emma played it all the time in their cabin at Camp Nightingale. But the games ended the night Emma sleepily watched the others sneak out into the darkness. The last she—or anyone—saw of the teenagers was Vivian closing the cabin door behind her, hushing Emma with a finger pressed to her lips.... Fifteen years later, Emma is a rising star in the New York art scene, turning her past into paintings—massive canvases filled with dark leav...
The Book of Storms
Eleven-year-old Danny O'Neill has never been what you'd call adventurous. But when he wakes the morning after a storm to find his house empty, his parents gone, and himself able to hear the thoughts of a dying tree, he has no choice but to set out to find answers. He soon learns that the enigmatic Book of Storms holds the key to what he seeks . . . but unraveling its mysteries won't be easy. If he wants to find his family, he'll have to face his worst fears and battle terrifyingly powerful enemies, including the demonic Sammael himself.In the beautifully imagined landscape of Ruth Hatfield's TheBook of Storms, magic seamlessly intertwines with the everyday, nothing is black and white, and Danny is in a race against time to rescue everything he holds dear.
What Rosa Brought
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