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What Not to Say to Your Husband
'These tongue-in-cheek books [will] have you chuckling over your Christmas dinner' - Prima THE PERFECT GIFT FOR ANYONE WHO IS, MIRACULOUSLY, STILL IN A RELATIONSHIP Be prepared and know exactly what not to say when... ... he's about to spend £200 on a chef's knife ... he gets his guitar out ... he launches into his one anecdote yet again What Not to Say to Your Husband is the first book in a brand-new series by comedy-writing duo Jason Hazeley (co-author of the Ladybird Books for Grown-Ups series) and comedy writer Nico Tatarowicz. This compendium of questions and comments you shouldn't say to your partner in a wide range of critical moments - at your wedding reception, as he's getting dressed for a fancy do, when you're at a family reunion - is a hilarious tonic for our times. Fully illustrated with Sarah Sumeray's dark and witty line-drawings, this book might not make your husband irritate you less, but it might just save your marriage.
The Ladybird Book of the Meeting
Learn all about the different kinds of meetings - brainstorms, catch-ups, face-to-face, virtual, unattended - and how to avoid them completely . . . 'People at work spend a lot of the day in meetings. Meetings are important because they give everyone a chance to talk about work. Which is easier than doing it.' __________ 'Rudd attends meetings remotely from his home office. He has three telephones, two Swiss desk intercoms, a fax machine and a wall-mounted theremin. Sometimes nobody speaks to him for days.' __________ This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them. The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. 'Hilarious' Stylist Explore other essential life companions in the Ladybird Books of The People Next Door, The Sickie, The Zombie Apocalypse, and more.
The Ladybird Book of Dating
THE PERFECT GIFT for the lonely, the deluded and the desperate. __________________________________ It is Barney and Leigh's wedding day. They have certainly come a long way from their first date. They have learned to supress their personalities and pretend they want the same things, so they will be able to put up with each other for several years. Everyone is happy for them. Their story is over. __________________________________ Marcus and Fiona have had three dates. Fiona knows this means she will either end up spending the rest of her life with Marcus, or eventually have to break up with him, horribly. Both of these ideas are terrifying to Fiona. Tomorrow Fiona will fake her own death and...
The Wonderful World of Ladybird Books for Grown-Ups
'After the success of their ingenious idea of matching pictures from Ladybird's archive with prose that mocks the mores of modern life, they are bowing out with a bang with this compendium' - Sunday Telegraph From the people who gave you classics such as The Ladybird Book of The Hangover and The Ladybird Book of The Mid-Life Crisis, they bring you this collection of what could have been. Imagine a world where there aren't just the thirty-two Ladybird Books for Grown-Ups you've seen in your local bookshop or downstairs toilet but hundreds and hundreds more... In this coffee-table book you don't have to, with never before seen covers, excerpts and paraphernalia from the archives, colourfully presented and helpfully divided into the following chapters: - Fun & Games - Adventure - The World Around Us - At Work - At Home - Coping - Not Coping - Giving Up 'I do not hasten to say that these books are the new Da Vinci Code.' Aisling Bea 'These books are small masterpieces. They make me glad I learned to read.' David Quantick 'HILARIOUS. Beserkly brilliant.' Mel Giedroyc
The Ladybird Book of the Hangover
THE PERFECT GIFT for anyone who likes a glass of red. And a double gin. And a vodka shot. And a flaming tequila. And a candy floss caipirinha . . . and a small Bahama Mama. __________________________________ 'A good hangover should be a total mystery to you. How did this happen? Why do you feel so ill? Pretend to yourself that you drank less than you did. Insist you stuck to beer, forgetting the champagne at the start of the evening and the round of jalapeno tequilas you did for a bet in that club next to the dual carriageway at 2am.' __________________________________ 'What a confusing world it can seem with a hangover. Sit as still as you can. Do not attempt to make any decisions. Look out...
How it Works: The Dad
The PERFECT GIFT for that superhero, saint, figure of worship or, if none of those apply your plain dear old dad. 'Shawn has set up his own firework display in the garden. "Those big displays are rubbish," he tells his son. "You can't see a thing." When Shawn's son has seen the firework, they will go back indoors. Fireworks are more expensive than Shawn expected.' _____________ '"What does a hippopotamus eat, dad?' asks Philip 'Children who ask for stuff in the gift shop,' says his dad. Being a dad is brilliant.'" This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them. The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. 'Hilarious' Stylist
The Ladybird Book of Mindfulness
THE PERFECT STOCKING FILLER for the mindless. (Isn't that right?) __________________________________ 'Valentine became a Buddhist because he was interested in dharma. Dharma is a word for cosmic law and order. Valentine is sad. He thought dharma was a type of curry.' __________________________________ 'Alison has been staring at this beautiful tree for five hours. She was meant to be in the office. Tomorrow she will be fired. In this way, mindfulness will have solved her work-related stress.' __________________________________ This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them. The large clear scrip...
The Ladybird Book of The Do-Gooder
THE PERFECT GIFT for the Do-Gooder in your life. (Don't you just hate them?) _________________________________________________ The do-gooder does all sorts of crazy things. It can be something as easy as running a marathon, or as difficult as dressing up. To make this eccentric behaviour seem less like a cry for help or the beginnings of a substantial personal crisis, the do-gooder does it for charity. _________________________________________________ Vernon has a job as a street fundraiser for the R.N.L.I. He wears a high-visibility jacket, a high visibility and high visibility trousers. Everybody on the street still pretends they cannot see him. _________________________________________________ This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them. The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. 'Hilarious' Stylist
How it Works: The Wife
The PERFECT GIFT for your long-suffering wife or prospective bride. Or, for any fool of a husband or seriously deluded groom-to-be who hasn't yet understood what he's signed up for. -------------------- Tina is getting married. It is the best day of her life. Next year, she will claim that becoming a mother was the best day of her life, but only because she was on some very strong drugs. Neither is true. The best day of her life was on her eighth birthday, when she got a yellow bike. -------------------- The wife likes surprises. Her favourite sort is a surprise birthday party. It is the husband's job to organise this surprise for her, and to keep her informed of every detail about it. -------------------- This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them. The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. 'Hilarious' Stylist
The Ladybird Book of the Shed
The perfect guide for those spending a little too much time in the shed . . . Using your shed as an office is called shedworking. Bunny works from his shed. He is a freelance cow-whisperer. At least, that's what he tells his wife. Bunny is unemployed. __________ 'Michael and Gwen are looking for the placemats Gwen's mother bought them for Christmas. 'Quick,' says Gwen. 'She will be here in twenty minutes!' 'I bet we hid them in here,' says Michael, closing himself inside the quiet shed. Michael says he will not give up looking for the mats in the shed, even if it takes him all day.' __________ This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them. The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. 'Hilarious' Stylist Explore other essential life companions in the Ladybird Books of The People Next Door, The Zombie Apocalypse, The Meeting, and more.
