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Bedtime Stories for Cats
Cat lovers cuddle, caress, and cater to their adorable but aloof feline friends. The cat, in fact, has become one of the country's most beloved pets, with some 90 million kitties claimed by doting owners. Now, Leigh Anne Jasheway's Bedtime Stories for Cats gives cat lovers everywhere new and inventive stories to lull their furballs to sleep. In "Rumpled Katzkin," for example, silky Phoebe the Cat impersonates Barbra Streisand, but longs not for riches but for more time with her nerdy owner. In "Kitty and the Beast," a not-so-beautiful cat adopts a young girl who subsequently learns that beauty is only fur deep. And in "Puss and the Missing Boots," feline detective Pussywillow Claudius Rex the Third ("The name's Puss") solves the mystery when Dollface Molloy's blue suede, over-the-knee boots are reportedly stolen by a cat burglar. Bedtime Stories for Cats is a humorous feline-oriented interpretation of some of America's favorite classics, from "The Three Alley Cats Gruff" to "Catpunzel." Jasheway has written a purrfectly delightful book guaranteed to make readers meow.
Bedtime Stories for Dogs
The tales in Bedtime Stories for Dogs are written just the way dogs like things—they're short and simple, they have happy endings, they usually involve food, and they frequently refer to things that smell really awful. Each one of these stories was proofed (and woofed) by the author's two wiener dogs: "If they didn't give a story two paws up and two tails wagging, it was back to the drawing board," she says. This is the perfect treat for anyone: *Whose dog has control of the remote (and flips when watching dog food commercials) *Whose dog occasionally allows him to sleep in the bed (but only if he doesn't hog the covers!) *Who doesn't even notice the dog hairs in their food *Who carries their dog when he gets winded Anyone who has a canine companion will want this charming book. It's a bow-wow bedtime bible!
Driving for Idiots
Everyone who's ever been behind the wheel of a car has come face-to-face with an idiot driver. You know, the one who makes a left turn from the far right lane. The one who comes to a complete stop as he attempts to enter a freeway. The one who leaves her turn signals on through the entire state of Texas. Now, author Leigh Anne Jasheway has come to rescue the rest of us with her delightfully wacky Driving for Idiots. Readers will learn all they need to compete on the idiot superhighway: How to get an Idiot License, Idiot Rules of the Road, and special tips on Offensive Driving. It's all here in hilariously idiotic detail! So don't be the only one on the road driving with both hands on the wheel and your eyes on the road. Be a real idiot driver and try driving while: - Eating shrimp teriyaki with chopsticks - Putting on panty hose - Juggling chainsaws - Putting on a puppet show for fifteen screaming kids in the backseat - Clipping your toenails - Seeing if the gloves fit
The Right Words at the Right Time
"For everyone who needs a hero or loves a good story, here is an inspiring collection of personal revelations from more than 100 remarkable men and women who share a moment when words changed their lives"--Jacket.
I'm Not Getting Older
Stand-up comic Leigh Anne Jasheway (author of Bedtime Stories or Dogs, Bedtime Stories for Cats, and five other humor books) has written the perfect book for the 40 million women in their late thirties to mid-fifties who are tired of depressing books about getting older! This wacky view of the middle ages (no, not the kind with dungeons and chastity belts... ) is filled with hysterical anti-aging tips found nowhere else. Tips like: -- If you're thinking about getting a pet, consider a Sharpei. Looking into her wrinkled face every morning will make your skin seem smooth and firm in comparison. -- Not every woman has night sweats... Many get night sweets -- the irresistible urge to take Ben & Jerry to bed. -- When your friends ask how you keep your skin looking so young, tell them you do acid. You don't have to tell them it's alpha hydroxy acid. -- The trick for keeping your sex life exciting as you get older is to try new things like making love in exotic locations. The other side of the bed, for example.
Random Female Syndromes
Put down the backless paper gown and step away from the stirrups. These syndromes are best treated with a double dose of laughter. The Syndrome Mag is devoted to helping educate and inspire on issues of gender equality using comedy and storytelling. This anthology brings together hysterical true stories of women trying to succeed and survive in a world that insists there's something wrong with us. The authors in this anthology come from different cultures and countries, yet you will connect with their predicaments, in which they take on the world with their wits, their friends, and sometimes a box of tampons.
Date Me, Date My Dog
Millions of single, dog-loving women are dog paddling in the dating pool "with dog." And although the plethora of online, pet-lover dating sites may arguably make the business of finding Mr. Right for you and your pack easier, it can still be overwhelming. Date Me, Date My Dog: Finding Mr. Right for You and Your Pack is a LOL single woman's guide to dating that not only empowers you to hold out for a guy who loves you for the dog-loving woman you are, but also suggests ways to use your dog's sensibilities to find Mr. Right for you and your canine kid. Are you stuck in the endless loop of hooking up with bad boys your Chihuahua "Charo" wouldn't even look twice at? Or have you lost many a man to dogus-interruptus (otherwise known as canine voyeurism)? Whatever your issues may be, Date Me, Date My Dog barks up all the major problem areas single women with dogs face when trying to find Mr. Right. Equipped with a canine contract and dating capability test, Date Me, Date My Dog: Finding Mr. Right for You and Your Pack will help you successfully navigate the dog-eat-dog world of dating with humor and compassion . . . and more than a little help from your faithful, furry, forever friend.
Comedy Writing Secrets
A comprehensive guide to writing, selling and performing all types of comedy. Includes comments, advice, gags and routines from top comics.
