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After some forty years on the throne of England to be rehoused on a council estate in the Midlands comes as something of a shock to the Queen. In fact it is a nightmare.
Adrian Mole is thirty-four and three quarters, almost officially middle-aged, when Mr Blair tells Parliament that weapons of mass destruction can be deployed in forty-five minutes and can reach Cyprus. Adrian is worried that he might not get a refund on his holiday. But that?s not all that is bothering him. There?s his odd girlfriend Marigold who has become distressingly New Age. And his son Glenn who is in Deepcut Barracks. Would Mr Blair have been quite so keen if it had been his son manning a roadblock?
Adrian Mole's first love, Pandora, has left him; a neighbor, Mr. Lucas, appears to be seducing his mother (and what does that mean for his father?); the BBC refuses to publish his poetry; and his dog swallowed the tree off the Christmas cake. "Why" indeed.
The troubled life of Adrian Mole continues in this sequel to The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole Aged 13 3/4. Adrian continues to struffle valiantly against the slings and arrows of growing up and his own family's attempts to scar him for life.
Adrian Mole is 39 and a quarter. Unable to afford the mortgage on his riverside apartment, he has been forced to move into a semi-detached converted pigsty next door to his parents, George and Pauline. His ravishing wife Daisy loathes the countryside, longs for Dean Street and has yet to buy a pair of Wellingtons; they are both aware the passion has gone out of their marriage, but neither knows how to reignite the flame. To cap it all off, Adrian is leaving his bed numerous times a night to go to the lavatory and has other alarming symptoms, leading him to suspect prostate trouble. Meanwhile, his mother thinks that an appearance on the Jeremy Kyle show might solve the mystery of her daughter’s paternity once and for all. And when George is asked to provide a DNA sample, will the shock kill him? He is already disabled, though still chain smoking and has had an ashtray welded onto the arm of his wheelchair. As Adrian’s worries multiply, a phone call to his old flame Dr Pandora Braithwaite, BA, MA, PhD, MP and Junior Minister in the Foreign Office, ignites memories of a shared passion and makes him wonder – is she the only one who can save him now?
New volume of entertaining observations from Adrian Mole between the ages of 16 and 21.
THE BRILLIANTLY FUNNY SEQUEL TO THE QUEEN AND I FROM BESTSELLING AUTHOR OF THE ADRIAN MOLE SERIES What if being Royal was a crime? The UK has come over all republican. The Royal Family exiled to an Exclusion Zone with the other villains and spongers. And to cap it all, the Queen has threatened to abdicate. Yet Prince Charles is more interested in root vegetables than reigning ... unless his wife Camilla can be Queen in a newly restored monarchy. But when a scoundrel who claims to be the couple's secret love-child offers to take the crown off their hands, the stage is set for a right Royal show down. And the question for Camilla (and rest of the country) will be: Queen of the vegetable patch or Queen of England? _____________ 'Brilliantly satirical' Evening Standard 'One of our finest living comic writers' The Times 'Brilliantly funny' Closer 'Another fantastic read from Townsend' OK!
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The day her gifted twins leave home for university, Eva climbs into bed and stays there. For seventeen years she's wanted to yell at the world, 'Stop! I want to get off'. Finally, this is her chance. Perhaps she will be able to think.Her husband Dr Brian Beaver, an astronomer who divides his time between gazing at the expanding universe, an unsatisfactory eight-year-old affair with his colleague Titania and mooching in his shed, is not happy. Who will cook dinner? Eva, he complains, is either having a breakdown or taking attention-seeking to new heights.But word of Eva's refusal to get out of bed quickly spreads.Alexander the dreadlocked white-van man arrives to help Eva dispose of all her c...
It's 1997. Adrian, 30 is a chef at an up-market restaurant, selling down-market food for ridiculous prices. There, the only person who seems to notice he can't cook is AA Gill. But problems abound when, in a fit of madness, he agrees to become a TV chef on the show Offally Good.