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The Portable Door
THE PORTABLE DOOR is the first novel set in the magical offices of J. W. Wells. Now a majorly fantastical movie starring Sam Neill, Christoph Waltz, and Miranda Otto. “Tom Holt may be the most imaginative satirist to land on our shores since Douglas Adams.” — Christopher Moore, New York Times bestselling author Starting a new job is always stressful (especially when you don't want one), but when Paul Carpenter arrives at the office of J. W. Wells he has no idea what trouble lies in store. He is about to discover that the apparently respectable establishment now paying his salary is a front for a deeply sinister organization. It seems that half the time his bosses are away with the fair...
Little People
'The best similes since Douglas Adams.' - SFX 'A brilliantly imaginative tale with an unexpected final twist' - The Good Book Guide 'I was eight years old when I saw my first elf.' ... And for unlikely hero Michael it wasn't his last. Michael's unfortunately (but accurately) named girlfriend Cruella, doesn't approve of his obsession with the little people, but the problem is that they won't leave him alone. And who can blame them when it is his own stepfather who is responsible for causing them so much misery. Oh yes. Daddy George knows that elves can do so much more than the gardening. Brilliant and outrageously funny comic fantasy - Tom Holt on top form. Books by Tom Holt: Walled Orchard S...
Barking
'Tom Holt may be the most imaginative satirist to land on our shores since Douglas Adams' - Christopher Moore 'Holt has a zany humor that will appeal to fans of Terry Pratchett and Christopher Moore.' - Library Journal Monsters are roaming the streets of London. Of course, some monsters are scarier than others: Unicorns? No bother. Vampires? Big deal. Werewolves? Ho hum. Lawyers? ... Aaargh! Duncan's boss doesn't think that he's cut out to be a lawyer. He isn't a pack animal. He lacks the killer instinct. But when his best friend from school barges his way back into Duncan's life, with a full supporting cast of lawyers, ex-wives, zombies and snow-white unicorns, it's not long before things b...
Expecting Someone Taller
All Malcolm Fisher did was run over a badger. Unfortunately the badger turned out to be Ingolf, last of the giants. With his dying breath he reluctantly gave Malcolm two gifts of power and made him ruler of the world.
My Hero
'On the surface, MY HERO is funny; deep down, it's smart, with lots to say about the fine line between Life and Art- and about what happens when it disappears altogether.' - MAXIM 'Witty and eccentric... dazzling, neat, frivolous.' - TIME OUT This is the story of Jane, who finds the novel she is working on starts to write back. She's already realized novel writing isn't such a piece of cake after all, and the world of fiction is a far more complicated place than she ever imagined. From one of the best-loved comic writers in fantasy fiction comes another absurdly witty title - perfect for fans of Douglas Adams or Terry Pratchett Books by Tom Holt: Walled Orchard Series Goatsong The Walled Orc...
May Contain Traces of Magic
A novel set in the magical offices of The Portable Door, now a majorly fantastical film starring Christoph Waltz, Sam Neill, and Miranda Otto. “Tom Holt may be the most imaginative satirist to land on our shores since Douglas Adams.” — Christopher Moore, New York Times bestselling author There are all kinds of products. The good ones. The bad ones. The ones that stay in the garage moldering for years until your garden gnome makes a home out of it. Most are harmless if handled properly, even if they do contain traces of peanuts. But some are not – not the ones that contain traces of magic. Chris Popham wasn't paying enough attention when he talked to his SatNav. Sure, she gave him dir...
Ye Gods!
'Much of this is zany, irreverent fun with a serious underlying intent as Holt turns Plato, Virgil, Freud, Christianity and quantum physics--in short, the whole of the Western tradition--topsy-turvy.' - Publishers Weekly A suburban house, a child called Jason who strangles large snakes whilst still in his cot, the Olympian gods and a Girl Next Door are the ingredients of this fantasy by Tom Holt, author of Flying Dutch and Expecting Someone Taller. Being a hero bothers Jason. It's easy to get maladjusted when your mum's a suburban housewife and your dad's the Supreme Being. It can be a drag slaying fabulous monsters and retrieving golden fleeces from dragons, and then having to tidy your roo...
Flying Dutch
Vanderdecken, the Flying Dutchman, did not, as is believed, make a deal with the Devil which left him cast away for centuries. The truth is different, and very confusing.
When It's A Jar
'Uniquely twisted...cracking gags...' - The Guardian (UK) 'Wacky humor bubbles through the polished narrative... Holt doesn't skimp on the flashes of brilliance.' - SFX Maurice has just killed a dragon with a breadknife. And had his destiny foretold . . . and had his true love spirited away. That's precisely the sort of stuff that'd bring out the latent heroism in anyone. Unfortunately, Maurice is pretty sure he hasn't got any latent heroism. Meanwhile, a man wakes up in a jar in a different kind of pickle (figuratively speaking). He can't get out, of course, but neither can he remember his name, or what gravity is, or what those things on the ends on his legs are called . . . and every time...
Blonde Bombshell
'As you'd expect from Holt, Blonde Bombshell is rife with puns, complicated setups for ridiculous gags, and a riveting story that is completely implausible.' - Booklist 'BLONDE BOMBSHELL is a clever, funny, tirelessly inventive, apocalyptic leg-hump of a book. Tom Holt may be the most imaginative satirist to land on our shores since Douglas Adams' - Christopher Moore A heart-warming tale of Armageddon from one of the funniest, most original voices in comic fiction today . . . The third planet out from the star was blue, with green splodges. Dirt. Oh, the bomb thought. And then its courage, determination and nobility-of-spirit subroutines cut in, overriding everything else, adrenalizing its c...
