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John Dies at the End
  • Language: en
  • Pages: 646

John Dies at the End

  • Type: Book
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  • Published: 2011-09-08
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  • Publisher: Titan Books

My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrock, about the invasion, and the future. But it's too late. You touched the book. You're in the game. You're under the eye. The only defence is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part about the bratwurst. Why? You'll just have to trust me. Unfortunately for us, if you make the right choice, we'll have a much harder time explaining how to fight off the otherwordly invasion currently threatening to enslave humanity. I'm sorry to have involved you in this, I really am. But as you read about these terrible events and the very dark epoch the world is about to enter as a result, it is crucial you keep one thing in mind: NONE OF THIS IS MY FAULT...

Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick
  • Language: en
  • Pages: 398

Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick

  • Type: Book
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  • Published: 2020-10-17
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  • Publisher: Titan Books

Zoey Ashe, suddenly in charge of the most decadent city in the world is just trying to cope with nightmarish superhuman villains, an all-seeing social network; mysterious, smooth-talking power players; and her very, very smelly cat. But when a disembowled corpse rampages through her house and accuses her of murder, Zoey has to work out what she owns, who works for her, and if she was responsible...

What the Hell Did I Just Read
  • Language: en
  • Pages: 420

What the Hell Did I Just Read

  • Type: Book
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  • Published: 2017-10-03
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  • Publisher: Titan Books

From the writer of the cult sensation John Dies at the End comes another terrifying and hilarious tale of almost Armageddon at the hands of two hopeless heroes. It's the story "They" don't want you to read. Though, to be fair, "They" are probably right about this one. No, don't put the book back on the shelf – it is now your duty to purchase it to prevent others from reading it. Yes, it works with ebooks, too; I don't have time to explain how. While investigating a fairly straightforward case of a shape-shifting interdimensional child predator, Dave, John, and Amy realized there might actually be something weird going on. Together, they navigate a diabolically convoluted maze of illusions, lies, and their own incompetence in an attempt to uncover a terrible truth that they - like you - would be better off not knowing. Your first impulse will be to think that a story this gruesome – and, to be frank, stupid – cannot possibly be true. That is precisely the reaction "They" are hoping for.

This Book Is Full Of Spiders: Seriously Dude Don't Touch It
  • Language: en
  • Pages: 492

This Book Is Full Of Spiders: Seriously Dude Don't Touch It

  • Type: Book
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  • Published: 2012-10-02
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  • Publisher: Titan Books

Fan favourite David Wong takes readers to a whole new level with this blistering sequel to the cult sensation John Dies at the End, now a movie starring Paul Giamatti. As the sequel opens, we find our heroes, David and John, again embroiled in a series of horrifying yet mind-bogglingly ridiculous events caused primarily by their own gross incompetence. The guys find that books and movies about zombies may have triggered a zombie apocalypse, despite a complete lack of zombies in the world. As they race against the clock to protect humanity from its own paranoia, they must ask themselves, who are the real monsters? Actually, that would be the shape-shifting horrors secretly taking over the world behind the scenes that, in the end, make John and Dave kind of wish it had been zombies after all. Hilarious, terrifying, engaging and wrenching, This Book Is Full of Spiders, the next thrilling installment, takes us for a wild ride with two slackers from the midwest who really have better things to do with their time than prevent the apocalypse.

If This Book Exists, You're in the Wrong Universe
  • Language: en
  • Pages: 316

If This Book Exists, You're in the Wrong Universe

New York Times bestselling author Jason Pargin’s hilarious and horrifying John Dies at the End series continues with If This Book Exists, You’re in the Wrong Universe. "Pargin once again delights with scathing social commentary thinly disguised as an outrageous action novel...This is a feast."—Publishers Weekly "Within the snarky humor is an incisive commentary on social media and the state of our connected world, and a story about trauma and how people lash out when they’re hurt...This isn’t just a funny tale of inept supernatural investigators; it’s a story of people struggling through pain to find a better path. Pargin offers us a welcome note of hope." — Booklist If the bro...

Futuristic Violence and Fancy Suits
  • Language: en
  • Pages: 458

Futuristic Violence and Fancy Suits

  • Type: Book
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  • Published: 2015-10-06
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  • Publisher: Titan Books

The first book in the Zoey Ashe series of sci-fi thrillers and winner of the 2016 Alex Award by New York Times bestselling author, David Wong. Nightmarish villains with superhuman enhancements. An all-seeing social network that tracks your every move. Mysterious, smooth-talking power players who lurk behind the scenes. A young woman from the trailer park. And her very smelly cat. Together, they will decide the future of mankind. Get ready for a world in which anyone can have the powers of a god or the fame of a pop star, in which human achievement soars to new heights while its depravity plunges to the blackest depths. A world in which at least one cat smells like a seafood shop's dumpster on a hot summer day. This is the world in which Zoey Ashe finds herself, navigating a futuristic city in which one can find elements of the fantastic, nightmarish and ridiculous on any street corner. Her only trusted advisor is the aforementioned cat, but even in the future, cats cannot give advice. At least not any that you'd want to follow. Will Zoey figure it all out in time? Or maybe the better question is, will you? After all, the future is coming sooner than you think.

Hearts of Oak
  • Language: en
  • Pages: 164

Hearts of Oak

  • Type: Book
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  • Published: 2020-03-17
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  • Publisher: Tordotcom

"[Hearts of Oak packs in] the sort of profound and lacerating laughter that Robson's countrymen Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett perfected." –NPR Hearts of Oak is a delightful science fiction adventure from Eddie Robson, the creator of the acclaimed Welcome to Our Village, Please Invade Carefully. The buildings grow. And the city expands. And the people of the land are starting to behave abnormally. Or perhaps they’ve always behaved that way, and it’s normality that’s at fault. And the king of the land confers with his best friend, who happens to be his closest advisor, who also happens to be a talking cat. But that’s all perfectly natural and not at all weird. Iona, close to retirement, finds that the world she has always known is nothing like she always believed it to be. There are dark forces . . . not dark. There are uncanny forces . . . no, not uncanny. There are forces, anyway, mostly slightly odd ones, and they appear to be acting in mysterious ways. It’s about town planning, it’s about cats and it’s about the nature of reality. At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.

Honor Among Thieves
  • Language: en
  • Pages: 251

Honor Among Thieves

Meet your new favorite kickass heroine in this daring YA series by New York Times bestselling authors Rachel Caine and Ann Aguirre, a thrilling yet romantic futuristic adventure perfect for fans of Claudia Gray’s A Thousand Pieces of You. Petty criminal Zara Cole has a painful past that’s made her stronger than most, which is why she chose life in New Detroit instead moving with her family to Mars. In her eyes, living inside a dome isn’t much better than a prison cell. Still, when Zara commits a crime that has her running scared, jail might be exactly where she’s headed. Instead Zara is recruited into the Honors, an elite team of humans selected by the Leviathan—a race of sentient alien ships—to explore the outer reaches of the universe as their passengers. Zara seizes the chance to flee Earth’s dangers, but when she meets Nadim, the alien ship she’s assigned, Zara starts to feel at home for the first time. But nothing could have prepared her for the dark, ominous truths that lurk behind the alluring glitter of starlight.

Girl in Landscape
  • Language: en
  • Pages: 212

Girl in Landscape

Girl in Landscape offers a genre-bending, mind-expanding tale of a new frontier. Jonathan Lethem's novel is a science-fiction Western that evokes both the brooding tragedy of John Ford's The Searchers and the sexual precocity of Nabokov's Lolita. Lethem's heroine is 14-year-old Pella Marsh, whose mother dies just as her family flees a post-apocalyptic Brooklyn for the frontier of a recently discovered planet. Hating her ineffectual father, and troubled by a powerful attraction to the virile but dangerous loner who holds sway over the little colony, Pella embarks on a course of discovery that will have tragic and irrevocable consequences - both for the humans in her community, and also for the mysterious and passive indigenous inhabitants, The Archbuilders.

Terminal World
  • Language: en
  • Pages: 496

Terminal World

  • Type: Book
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  • Published: 2021-12-21
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  • Publisher: Orbit

In the last surviving human city, an ex-spy gets sucked into a dangerous quest that will take him beyond the city walls when a winged man turns up dead in his morgue in this innovative and original dystopian space adventure. Spearpoint, the last human city, is an enormous atmosphere-piercing spire. Clinging to its skin are the zones, a series of semi-autonomous city-states, each of which enjoys a different—and rigidly enforced—level of technology. Following an infiltration mission that went tragically wrong, Quillon has been living incognito, working as a pathologist in the district morgue. But when a near-dead angel drops onto his dissecting table, Quillon's world is wrenched apart one ...