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Fishing in Moon River
WHAT DO GHOSTS, ROBOTS, ANGELS, AND SANTA ALL HAVE IN COMMON? None of them are what you think - at least, not once comedy writer Peter "Lou" D'Alessio gets his hands on them! Here Pete presents a collection of his best short stories, from the hilarious to the horrifying. From Podunksville to the White House and from Bethlehem to Mars, D'Alessio's irreverent humor takes on Egyptian card sharks, blood-phobic vampires, used camel salesmen, elfish hookers, dead Presidents and drunken possums. Brace yourself for: A sentient robot sent to Mars deciding to ditch NASA and explore the Red Planet his own way. A boy's family and friends being systematically slaughtered - and he wonders if he's the werewolf murdering them! A psychologist going to extreme (and morally questionable) lengths to cure a patient slowly starving himself to death. The ghost of Charlie Chan investigating his own murder with help from the supernatural (and an incompetent great-great-grandson). A jaded Santa crashing his sleigh on Christmas Eve when the only replacement vehicle available is an old motorcycle.
The Templar's Bowl
In 1942, German submarines prowled the Canadian coastline, searching for the lost Templar treasure... and its most powerful spiritual object, the Holy Grail. All that stands between Hitler and world domination are three ghosts of long-dead Templar Knights... and their newest recruit: the sickly, wheelchair-bound child Richard. As his body lies in a coma, the Templar ghosts take Richard's spirit on journey through time as they train him for knighthood. Richard meets Crusaders and Hospitlars, Vikings and Saracens, Pirates... and, ultimately, Nazis. Sailing a wooden longship, armed only with swords and catapults, can Richard and his ghostly allies protect the Grail from enemy U-Boats bearing gun-toting stormtroopers?
The Boozy Banshee of Brannock-A-Bend
When Mike O'Neil's Aunt Idy dies leaving him her estate in Ireland, Mike and his teammate Beau look forward to a quiet Irish vacation of fishing and whiskey. So the two retired NFL football players jump on a jet and head for Brannock-A-Bend. The two rednecks have barely set foot on the Emerald Isle when their vacation goes off the rails. It turns out Aunt Idy was a closet moonshiner (with an excellent recipe!). Oh, and her property is haunted by the drunken ghost of a pirate moonshine smuggler. It gets worse. It turns out ALL of Brannock-A-Bend is involved in the underground moonshine economy... and Mayor O'Malley, who rules Brannock-A-Bend with an iron fist, doesn't appreciate the two Yanks trespassing on his territory. Before they know it, Beau and O'Neil are swept into the moonshining business and cutthroat local politics, all while trying to keep the alcoholic apparition under control. And maybe-if they can gain the trust of the locals, overthrow the Mayor, win the moonshine contest, and keep the sloshed specter sober-they might even survive it all!
Uncle Merl's Bar & Grill
Enjoy this comedic urban fantasy about dragons and demons, mortals and magic, vampires and... baseball? Yes, baseball! You'd be surprised how much baseball has to do with human history — and you can hear it all from the dragons hanging out at Uncle Merl's Bar & Grill in Newark! But as Merlin the bartender will tell you, don't talk to them when they're watching a Mets game. That's right, supernatural sports fans! Welcome to the opening game of the End-of-the-World Series! From the depths of the underworld, from the ninth circle of hell, please welcome the visiting baseball team — Satan and the real Hell's Angels! And now, from across all of time and space, from every season of every team in every city, please welcome the home team — the Hall of Fame Heroes! That's right, baseball fans — all the baseball legends, from Georgia Peach Ty Cobb to Jiltin' Joe DiMaggio, have returned from their graves to duel the demons on the diamond! So grab some peanuts and head to the bleachers with a few beered-up dragons to watch the best of humanity play the worst of hell! The stakes are high, and the winner takes all — all the world, that is!
The Glass Marines
Light-years into deep space aboard an alien cargo freighter, Marine Sergeant Christopher receives a bizarre order: Make 185 Malacan aliens into United States Marines. But the Malacans aliens are so... alien. Their culture, psychology, even physiology is so very, very different. What physical training standards do you use for a race that can do 200 push-ups with breaking a sweat, but can't do a single squat-thrust? Worse yet, the Malacans are a passive and docile species, with little or no sense of independence, ambition, or aggression. But the Corps don't want sheep - they want Marines! With only three fellow Drill Instructors, century-old surplus weapons and equipment, and just eighteen weeks for Boot Camp, can Sergeant Christopher teach the meek and submissive aliens what it means to be one of the few and the proud?
The Golden Shore
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Spy
Smart. Funny. Fearless."It's pretty safe to say that Spy was the most influential magazine of the 1980s. It might have remade New York's cultural landscape; it definitely changed the whole tone of magazine journalism. It was cruel, brilliant, beautifully written and perfectly designed, and feared by all. There's no magazine I know of that's so continually referenced, held up as a benchmark, and whose demise is so lamented" --Dave Eggers. "It's a piece of garbage" --Donald Trump.
Who’s In? Who’s Out?
Who's In? Who's Out? portrays the successes and the challenges inclusive education researchers take on in striving to dismantle barriers involving access, presence, participation and success in education.
The Glass Marines
Light-years into deep space aboard an alien cargo freighter, Marine Sergeant Christopher receives a bizarre order: Make 185 Malacan aliens into United States Marines. But the Malacans aliens are so... alien. Their culture, psychology, even physiology is so very, very different. What physical training standards do you use for a race that can do 200 push-ups with breaking a sweat, but can't do a single squat-thrust? Worse yet, the Malacans are a passive and docile species, with little or no sense of independence, ambition, or aggression. But the Corps don't want sheep - they want Marines! With only three fellow Drill Instructors, century-old surplus weapons and equipment, and just eighteen weeks for Boot Camp, can Sergeant Christopher teach the meek and submissive aliens what it means to be one of the few and the proud?
The Oathbound Wizard
Matt Mandrell, unsuspecting graduate student, never imagined his research would lead him to a strange scrap of parchment that would change his life forever. . . . Crossing the void of time and space, Matt is whisked away to an enchanted world where speaking in rhymes works the most dazzling magic. There he wins not only fame and power as the Lord High Wizard, but the heart of the beautiful Queen Alisande. His dreams are shattered, though, when he learns that he can’t marry his true love; wizard or not, Matt is just a commoner in this bizarre land. So Matt makes a foolish vow: to conquer a kingdom, any kingdom, if that’s what it takes to claim his bride. But, as Matt discovers, in this wo...
