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The Downing Street Guide to Party Etiquette
Partygate? More like party GREAT! While the UK locked down to prevent the spread of COVID-19, Boris Johnson's Number Ten played host to a series of boozy shindigs. Now, for the first time, you can learn to get wasted like they do in Whitehall. The Downing Street Party Guide will take you through every stage of a successful, pandemic-defying bash, from drafting invitations to answering awkward questions later. Contents include: · Decor tips to avoid a 'John Lewis nightmare'. · The perfect playlist to start a Cabinet conga line. · How to handle the subsequent police investigation. WHAT HAPPENS IN DOWNING STREET STAYS IN DOWNING STREET... UNTIL SOMEONE LEAKS IT. 'Verity Bigg-Knight has written a . . . book.' - Ipswich Pedant 'It is truly amazing that this was published.' - Bullfighting Weekly 'Darling, I don't have time to read this. Just let me know how much you need for next month.' - Sir Adrian Bigg-Knight
Dark Sexy Knight
Loosely inspired by the legend of Camelot, Dark Sexy Knight tells the story of dinner theater knight Colt Lane, who meets down-on-her-luck Verity Gwynn on the worst day of her life. Evicted from their home, Verity and her special-needs brother, Ryan, must find jobs or risk being separated. Colt, who is the furthest-possible thing from a white knight in real life, comes to their unlikely rescue, quickly cementing his place in Verity's heart. Colt has dark, deeply buried secrets that keep his smile hidden and his eyes down, which has kept people away . . . until he meets Verity, who seems immune to his gruff manners and taciturn ways. The more time Colt spends with her, the more he longs for her sweetness in his life and yearns to be the knight in shining armor she so desperately needs. Certain he will lose her if she learns the truth about his past, he must decide if he can trust her with his yesterday in order to build a beautiful tomorrow.
The Secret Diary of Boris Johnson Aged 131⁄4
'Deliciously funny and highly impudent' - Jon Culshaw FEATURES ILLUMINATING NEW MATERIAL about the original Partygate: a boozy shindig Boris threw while Eton was in the grip of a flu epidemic. Read on for deeper insight into Johnson's psychology, and the hubris and hedonism that would characterise his premiership. Unfortunately for Britain, the teenager isn't too different from the man... ___ 'My dearest, darling, dapper, dashing Diary, What ho! 'Tis I, the man of the moment (and, indeed, of every moment), Boris Johnson. Today was a balmy summer one, and so your devoted diarist opted to recline upon the bank of the Thames, reflecting on glories of the previous twelvemonth. Naturally, my second year at Eton has been an unbroken string of victories and vindications. I outwitted my rivals, wrote every essay at the last moment, and snuck a metric tonne of Curly Wurlies from the tuck shop. And I only expect to achieve more in the coming year. To paraphrase that fine Olympic slogan: Citius, Altius, Fortius, Borius!'
O is for Old School
O is for Old School takes you on an alphabetical journey through the most iconic words and phrases in hip-hop. You'll soon learn that for new parents these words have new meanings: now Peace comes at naptime, a Hood is worn on a head and when they Flow it’s going to get wet. This book is your chance to become the freshest parent in your playgroup; while your lil' one learns their ABCs like a G.
Rosenbaum's Book of Impractical Politicians
This collection of witty and engaging satirical poems about politics and politicians is also a carefully crafted and ingenious literary parody. It will entertain and amuse while it takes on the foibles of characters from Boris Johnson and Keir Starmer to Larry the Cat.
It's Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
A passionate and profane love letter to fall, the best fucking season of the year. Do you get excited at the first brisk breeze of the year? Are you overcome with delight when you see piles of red leaves? Do you lose your fucking mind at a pumpkin patch? At last, the epically funny internet sensation It's Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers is now a visual tour-de-force, teeming with a cornucopia of perfectly paired photos and seasonal enchantments to make it really fucking sing. Whiffy candles, wicker baskets, motherfucking gourd after gourd, and people going insane they love fall so much? Check! Also included: the equally lifechanging meditation It's Rotting Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers, because all good things must end. Give it to everyone you love, or put it on your fucking coffee table next to a pile of shellacked vegetables to really tie the room together. Perfect for: For anyone who fucking loves fall, and fans of McSweeney's, Go the Fuck to Sleep, Deep Thoughts, the Onion, and the New Yorker.
The Panda, the Cat and the Dreadful Teddy: A Parody
The surely soon-to-be million-copy bestselling sort-of inspirational parody..
Frankenstein
Frankenstein: But The Monster is Allergic to Gluten is a tale of ambition, knowledge, and human tolerance of wheat-based products. Author Richard C. Heese ransacks Mary Shelley's 1831 edition of the American classic to include minor details suggesting that Frankenstein's monster suffers from celiac disease and is incapable of consuming gluten. The monster's misery is accentuated by consistent references to Victor's ability to digest gluten without disturbing his small intestine and GI tract. Inevitably, readers will revolt against the concept of public domain upon glimpsing any portion of this book.
The Cambridge Review
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