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The Ministry of Silly Poets: "I am not a poet!"
I am not a poet! That is what I keep telling myself anyway! A poet is someone that takes the literary form very seriously and it would appear that I tend to be quite the opposite. I just enjoy playing around with words to create something enjoyable to read, something to make people laugh, something to make you think or just say “what was that?”. Who cares as long as it provokes a reaction? Yes, sometimes they are a bit of fun, sometimes a bit grim, sometimes thought provoking, but at the end of the day what poetry should be? Entertaining! I have been writing “poems” and rhymes for quite a few years now and I didn’t realise how many I’d done until I put them altogether in one place This book is the result of that. There is quite a variety and hopefully something for everyone. There is no theme or message I’m looking to put across, no particular order to read them in and no agenda but for you to take pleasure in the power of words, whatever order they come in! Enjoy!
Cows!
Cows, trying to take over the world? How would they do such a thing? Well they have a plan, hundreds of years in the making, but humans aren't supposed to know. They've been fooling us for centuries. But let's put it this way, you may never look at milk the same way again and next time you see one you may appreciate they are not as dopey as they look. When the first wave of attack happens in the quiet, sleepy village of Golthwaite, set in the tranquil surrounding of the Yorkshire Dales, the villagers aren't even aware of what is happening. Not even our young, though slightly dim hero, Jimmy Tatley, knows what is going on but he must figure it out or we are all doomed. Luckily, his clever Can...
Sheep
Sheep and Cows have been the dominant species’ on the planet for eons. With their superior intellect and cultural sociological ideals they have lived together peacefully for generations. That was until the appearance of the mythical ‘hairless apes’. Little did they know that these upright two-legged creatures seen as the next stage of evolution by the Sheep would cause division in their long allegiance with the Cows, would draw the innocent Squirrels into the conflict and ultimately lead to a battle to assert total dominance as well as a war that would last for millennia. And a secret war that is still being fought to this day!
Handbook of Writing Research
Presents a collection of essays discussing the theories and models of writing research.
Nonagenarians
My Grandparents, Frank and Jessie Littlewood, were always an inspiration to me As you will see, Frank and Jessie (and some of their friends) had a way of capturing the spirit of their generation in a charming prose that can’t help but raise a smile. This is but a small selection of pieces put together from works that were actually found written down, not only demonstrating the true entertainers they were, but also showing how much they loved one another and their many friends. A collection of 10 heartfelt and witty poems celebrating the lives to entertain. This was originally compiled to celebrate the work they never put into the public domain after their death to raise money for charity that was close to their hearts but now has been opened up for everyone to enjoy. Martin Rothery
Human Rights: Undead Set on Living
“It’s not easy being a zombie. I’d only just been turned when I suddenly had conversion targets to meet, death quotas to fill and my team leader getting on my back. This, whilst all the trying to come to terms with being shot at, losing limbs, a body that doesn’t work properly anymore and my newly found addiction to lovely, squishy, juicy brains. It was just too much and my counsellor for the recently deceased hadn’t been any help. But at least it was an ordered, democratic society and I had a place in it, even if it was against my will. That was until the bomb dropped creating the dictatorial, super mutant zombies that took over and now it’s all out war against the humans. The S...
A Fistful of Marigolds
It’s the beginning of new school term in 1973 and Kathy Johnson needs a fresh start. Thirty, unmarried and an overworked teacher in a primary school on a run-down council estate, she is beginning to feel that life has passed her by. She needs to move on, but is still haunted by a tragic secret from her past. However, the disadvantaged people of Becklefield have problems of their own and it’s not long before Kathy is irresistibly, compassionately and sometimes unwillingly drawn into their tumultuous lives. A devastating fire; mice and marigolds, parental abuse and apathy, community poverty and passion, plus knights, castles, cub scouts and hilarious days out to the seaside all become entw...
Pedagogy and the Shaping of Consciousness
Basil Bernstein began to develop his theory of social structure and power relations during the 1950s and 1960s. Early in the 1960s he met M. A. K. Halliday and Ruqaiya Hasan, who were developing the first formulations of what would become known as systemic functional (SF) linguistic theory. A far-reaching dialogue began. Bernstein recognized the significant role that language plays in the construction of social experience and social inequality. Halliday and Hasan were actively seeking a theory of language that would explain the nature of the social. In different ways, they acknowledged the powerful role of language in the social construction of experience. Their resulting enquiries brought b...
Talk and Text
This book reviews some current theories about the internal organization of written and oral discourse. The articles range from the theoretical to the highly practical, from the cognitive frameworks which make coherence in oral conversation to the structural and linguistic devices which create textuality in written language. Contextual issues such as ideology, topicality and topic management, thematicity and academic discourse are explored via a contemporary and authentic sample of written fragments and oral corpora. This accesible book will be useful to advanced undergraduate and postgraduate students and to teachers interested in Language and Linguistics.
